Feathers
by shadowinghope
Summary: *on hiatus* AU Breaking Dawn. Starts from the morning after Bella's wedding night. Rated M just to be safe. JxB
1. Part 1

**A/N: This was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information with a tied up ending. When the feathers picture was released, I was inspired to turn Edward and Bella's honeymoon night into Jacob and Bella's. ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

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><p>I groggily opened my eyes.<p>

The sun was shining directly in my eyes so I shielded them and turned her away. Did the sun have to be _that_ bright this morning?

I rubbed my lids before trying to reopen my eyes once again.

I blinked a few times.

"Jake?"

No response.

I felt with my left hand for him but only came into contact with sheets and air.

And something else.

Something soft and fragile, gently bunching against my palm when I closed my hand around it.

I lifted my hand to examine the unknown object.

Were those...feathers?

What the-?

I dropped them on my other side and attempted to sit up, clinging the sheet to my chest.

I gasped when I felt pain surge throughout the lower half of my body and fell back down to the bed.

The pain had dulled into a rather delicious ache, reminding me of events from the night prior, and I relished in it. I stretched langorously, enjoying the new feeling enveloping my body.

Last night had definitely been the best night of my life. There were no words to describe the beauty of it. No words for how perfect I felt in this moment, how complete. No words.

I went to sit up again, this time much more cautious than before and gingerly moved back to the headboard, hissing each time the pain overwhelmed me. Yet, the knowing satisified smile never left my face.

Once I sat back gently, I took the opportunity to take a better look around me.

And what I saw made me gasp in surprise.

There was a crack in the wall near the door. The table next to it, where the glassware had been, was now clear, the shattered remnants of its previous occupants on the ground. The curtain rods that had been hanging over the windows were knocked down and in disarray. Lamps on their sides were split in two, if not in pieces. This led me to glance at the feathers at my side. There were tons more than I had anticipated, the torn pillows littered across the floor of the other side of the bed. This mass of feathers next to me caused something else to catch my eye. A large thick crack in the smooth wood of the headboard on Jake's side stood out, loudly announcing its rough treatment resulting in the damage.

"Holy crow," I whispered in astonishment.

I covered my mouth with my hand and couldn't help giggling into it.

The turn of the knob on the door made me straighten up quickly, tightening my hold on the sheet wrapped around my body. When Jake snuck into the room, I relaxed in relief and smiled warmly.

He glanced up and saw that I was awake. I then noticed his cheeks flush a shade darker than normal and he gave me a shy smile.

"Hey. You're awake."

"Yeah."

He approached me, carrying what looked like a tray of coffee cups with a brown paper bag sitting in the middle.

"I thought you might...like some coffee."

I smiled wider.

"That would be great. Thanks."

He held out a cup to me and I accepted it gratefully.

He sat down on the bed next to me and placed the tray down before opening up the bag and pulling out a wrapped item.

"Hungry?"

I arched a brow at him.

"Absolutely. I think we both worked up a pretty good appetite, wouldn't you say?"

Jake glanced down, chuckling, yet the dark flush was back. He handed me the food.

"Yeah. Egg and cheese with ketchup. Your favorite."

He flashed me his signature grin, the one I loved to see him wear, and I took the food, moving carefully to sit up fully so I could eat.

The sheet slipped a little in my movements and I heard a startled gasp next to me. I didn't even have to look to know Jake was in shock and it had nothing to do with my freshly bared top half. Sure enough, one glance confirmed I was right.

"Jake, what's the mat-"

His hand immediately flashed to my side, gently feeling near the bottom of my rib cage.

I looked where he was intently staring and noticed a huge bruise forming.

"You're hurt."

"No. No, Jake. I'm fine."

He raised his worried eyes to me and it stabbed into my chest. I hated to see the pain reflected back at me.

"Tell me the truth, Bells. I was...pretty rough last night. I hurt you, didn't I?"

I started to shake my head but as always, he could read me like an open book.

I saw the pain get worse and I placed the food down on the bed and moved in closer, taking his face in my hands.

"Jake, you didn't hurt me. I'm okay. A little sore but...that's expected the first time. It's okay."

Unbeknownst to me, while I was distracted trying to reassure him, he had stripped the rest of the sheet from me, revealing more of my skin that was becoming splotchy and discolored.

"Oh God, Bells." He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me into him gently. "I'm so sorry. I should've...I should've had more control. God, I'm so sorry."

I could hear his voice breaking, in between anger at himself and sadness at hurting me, and it made me want to cry. How was it that just a few minutes ago I felt complete, happy, with what had happened between us last night and now we were both on the verge of crying? I needed to stop this. I needed him to smile, to know that I was alright.

I pulled back quickly and forced him to look at me.

"Jacob,"

He looked at me, the pain still swimming in his dark eyes, almost overwhelming me once more. I took a breath and continued.

"I am not hurt. I am a little sore, yes, but I am _not_ hurt. I always bruise easily, you know that. And I don't have any werewolf healing abilities, so of course you're gonna see them for a while. I promise, I'm fine. Although, I do seem to be covered in feathers. I definitely need a shower. Care to join me?" I smirked at him but he wasn't buying it.

He rubbed my bare back slowly, tenderly.

"Maybe I should take you to a doctor or something. The hospital. Just to make sure you don't have any internal injuries or anything."

I glared at him. No way was I going to a hospital. What were we going to tell the doctor, that my werewolf boyfriend got a little rough our first time together and that he controlled his instincts by damaging everything else so he didn't hurt me? Yeah, I couldn't wait to rush to tell him that.

"Jacob, I. Am. Fine. How many times do I have to say it?"

He stared at me in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me, Bells? Have you seen this room?"

I sighed loudly and glanced around the room to give him the satisfaction.

"Yes, and let me just say, that those curtains, for this room? Uh uh. They needed to change things around anyway so we just helped them get started." I pointed to a lamp on our left across the room. "That lamp? Hated it. So, really, we did them a huge favor."

I looked back at him and he had his eyebrow quirked at me quizzically, almost asking if I was indeed serious.

I sighed again and hugged him close.

"Jake, I'm fine, I promise. Please don't worry. Okay? Please. This is pretty much the best morning of my life and I don't want to ruin it because I'm still human. So, please, believe me. I'm fine. Please?"

He sighed in response and smoothed my hair back behind my ear and over my left shoulder.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

He closed his eyes and placed his forehead against mine. I pulled my fingers through his hair at the back of his neck soothingly. The slight tremors that had started when he had made his discovery slowly dissipated and I swore I could hear a rumbling coming from him as so often did when he was happy.

And then it hit me.

I clapped my hand over my mouth and scurried to get off him, wincing and groaning the entire time.

"Bells, what the-are you alright?"

His arms caught me before I fell off the bed.

"Mweedmruthmueeth."

He narrowed his eyes at me in puzzlement but smirked. I was glad to see this side of him returning despite my ridiculous ability to worry everyone around me that I was always close to death or injury of some sort.

"What was that? You wanna repeat it please? In English this time?"

I glowered at him and cracked my fingers open slightly, speaking through them.

"I need to brush my teeth. I need a...human moment."

I stopped talking before I could make it worse. Had I really just spoken to him like he was-no, I refused to think the name. I had made my choice and I couldn't have been happier. Just as I didn't want Jake to taint this morning with his worry, I would not taint it with the past. This morning, the morning after, was for Jake and me alone.

His confusion intensified before he laughed and yanked my hand away from my mouth.

He leaned in to kiss me and I struggled to get away.

"No, Jake. Don't! I have to brush my teeth!"

He clasped the back of my neck and pulled me to him, me resisting him the whole way.

"Shut up, Bells."

He kissed me fully, his hands fisting in my hair to pull me in even closer, and eventually my struggles died away and I kissed him back. I couldn't fight him anymore. I didn't want to. What was the point? I loved Jacob and he loved me. And I was his now completely. Well, almost.

He drew back, smiling his sunny smile and stroked my hair softly.

"You sure you want to take that shower now? I could give you a massage, make you feel better. I'm pretty good with my hands, you know."

I rolled my eyes but bit my lip and I could see his own eyes darken at the sight. I wanted nothing more than to stay here in his arms and let him do what he would, but I felt the need to shower, now more than ever.

"I really do need to shower," I slowly attempted to crawl off him and get to my feet. "And brush my TEETH!" I had started to fall, my legs not able to stand fully on their own yet, unbeknownst to me, when Jake caught me, again, and swung me into his arms.

He smirked again at me. Why always _the_ smirk? It's almost as if he got a kick out of my extra clumsiness this morning, making me totally dependent on him.

"I'll make you a deal, Bells. I won't make you go to the doctor today if you go and let Sue have a look at you."

I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

"Jake, no. I'm not going to ask her if what happened last night broke any bones!" I crossed my arms, infuriated that he would even suggest such a thing. "Do you know how embarrassing that is? I mean, I might as well go to your dad and ask him so he can tell Charlie what happened. No way!"

He rolled his eyes at my dramatic outburst.

"Bells, relax. Sue's not like that. She doesn't gossip like an old woman. She's a nurse and she's in the know. I would like her to take a look at you."

I huffed in annoyance and refused to look at him. How dare he force humiliation on me like this?

"Honey, do it for me. Please?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head. Why was he doing this to me?

"It wasn't that long ago that you asked me to be good and listen to the doctor. Even though, I didn't really want to. You remember that?"

I dropped my arms and turned to him in annoyance.

"Jacob, that is completely different! All the bones on your right side were broken!"

"And how do you know yours aren't?"

"Wouldn't I be screaming in pain right now? Weren't you?"

"Okay, answer me this. If I put you down, would you be able to walk to the bathroom on your own right now?"

He had me and he knew it. There was no way I could make it on my own right now, not without a great deal of difficulty and pain. That had been proven when I tried to stand moments ago.

I wish we had left a pillow intact last night so I could hit him over the head with it. Not that it would do anything but at least, it would make me feel better. Note to self: must take up stock in crowbars for future use. Either that or buy Charlie's baseball bat off of him. Tell him it's for home protection or something.

I glared at him and he glared at me. Clearly, I was not going to win this one. And I really did not want to fight with him. Not when something so wonderful happened between us only hours ago, not on our first day together.

I sighed impatiently and crossed my arms again, staring up at the ceiling.

"Alright, I'll see Sue. There, you satisfied?"

I felt his lips brush against my ear lobe.

"Nowhere near it."

His husky whisper sent chills throughout my body like it always did whenever he spoke in _that_ tone.

I turned towards him, laying my head against his shoulder, looking up at him, smiling slightly, my anger with him quickly melting away.

"I need a shower."

He smirk got bigger.

"So, you keep telling me."

I smacked his chest and he chuckled.

I wrapped my finger around the collar of his dark t-shirt, playing with it nervously. Anything I said right now would be cliche and sound like it was out of some cheesy movie. Especially since I knew it would not come out the way I wanted, like the sexy siren I wanted desperately to portray, but more like the inexperienced girl I really was. Despite last night, I did _not_ feel like a woman. Not yet. And even though I knew he was just as inexperienced, he was better at saying what he wanted to say when he wanted to say it. He had already proved that. But me, that was an entirely different story.

"Will you take one with me?"

His brows arched a little and once again the heat flooded my cheeks.

I desperately wanted to retract that question or explain it away as fear for my current legless condition but I forced myself to quell the nerves and keep my perspective on the situation. I was here, naked for all intents and purposes, in the man's arms that I just asked to shower with me. A man that by now knew everything there was to know about me. Why was I so nervous?

I tugged on his collar.

"Would you like to?"

He grinned and carried me off to the bathroom.

He carefully set me down on the sink counter, frowning when I involuntarily let out a hiss. He took a deep breath and started the shower. He set it to hot and then proceeded to undress.

Normally, I would have been blushing like crazy and averting my eyes but there was no longer any need for that. The only thing left to do was appreciate him in his full splendor. And to think I had told him he was sort of beautiful back in the day. What had I been thinking?

Once he was completely stripped, he picked me up and stood us in front of the shower, waiting for me to check the temperature. Once I gave him the okay, he stepped us in and pulled the curtain behind us.

He gently placed me on my feet, not missing my wince, and leaned me towards him, facing him.

"Hold onto me, honey."

While he lathered shampoo into my now wet hair, I found myself wondering if his intentions were the same as my own. It was our first shower together. I wanted to make it a memorable one. But something told me he wasn't going to allow me to nor for the rest of this _trip_. I frowned at the thought when he slowly turned me around to rinse out the shampoo.

Since there wasn't any conditioner, he lathered up the soap and began spreading it softly over my body. His hands gliding smoothly over my skin was enough to make me ignore the pain I felt and beg for him to reconsider.

"So, now, because of this, you're not going to...at all?" Even though I had already done it, I still had trouble verbalizing it.

His eyes snapped to mine and his hands froze.

"Of course not, honey. But...you need to heal first. And I need to learn how to control my instincts better."

I sighed sadly and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Jake..."

"I'm not saying no, honey. Just not right now. Give it a day at least. Let's see what Sue says and if she thinks you're okay and you feel better soon, then...we'll try again, okay?"

He kissed my nose and I hugged him, burying my head into his wet neck, ignoring the soap I was now transferring to his skin from my own.

He tenderly started to rub my back again, forcing me to close my eyes. I loved it when he did that.

"Are you in a lot of pain right now?"

I shook my head.

"No. Just sore. Like I ran three marathons back to back."

He laid his cheek against the top of my wet head.

"I love you, Bells."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Love you more."

He laughed at the familiar memory and drew back a tiny bit to nuzzle me.

"Stealing my lines now, are you?"

I lifted my head and pulled him down to me for a kiss. Next, I lifted his hands, soap covered and wiping away the suds with my thumbs, kissed both of them before placing a kiss to the spot on his chest where his heart beat underneath.

Before I could do anything else, he leaned down and covered my mouth with his. He picked me up gently, carefully wrapping one leg around his waist and then the other and held me up against the wall.

He didn't do what I expected him to. Instead, he focused on kissing me, rubbing my bruised sides as he did. Whenever we needed air, he would move to the bruises adorning my hips, making sure to hold me still and keep me suspended while he moved. With each kiss, I felt his 'I'm sorry' for last night. But no matter what he did, no matter what he said, he would never make me regret it. Never.

Eventually, he lowered me down cautiously, finished washing us up and rinsed us off. He turned the shower off and stepped out, holding my elbow, before turning and picking me up, cradling me close to his damp chest.

Where I expected him to dry us off, he merely grabbed the towel and carried me back to the bedroom. He sat me down on the bed, laid out the towel and then laid me down on top of it. He laid next to me, kissing me and then my neck and then my collarbone.

I bit my lip, running my fingers through his shorn hair, watching him as he kissed more and more of my skin with such a loving tenderness and reverence. Almost as if he was worshipping me, grateful at the sacrifice I had given him last night and no one else. I know I was grateful, for him, for us, for everything we shared and still would.

Who would have ever thought that my best friend Jacob would be the one to give me such an incredible gift and I him? Why had I been so anxious and impatient to rush things before? There were no words to express the relief and happiness on my Jacob's face when I informed him I was still intact, in every way. No words.

Little did I know that Jacob intended on continuously apologizing until I was overwhelmed with my love for him, my marvel at his unselfishness and willingness to protect me and care for me, and I had no choice but to forgive him, even though there had never been anything to forgive in the first place.

* * *

><p>I lifted my face to feel the slight sea breeze on my cheeks and then dance along my loose curls, brushing them over my shoulder to my back.<p>

I had forgotten how beautiful La Push truly is.

Hard to think that not that long ago, I had been up here for a different reason. I guess I really hadn't stopped to take in the beauty that day.

Jake and I had just come from Sue's. As embarrassing as that conversation had been, she gave me the all clear. Just bruising and soreness. That hadn't surprised me in the least. Jake, while rough, had also been amazingly gentle. Just like I had thought, whatever instincts he was hit with last night, he focused it all on the room, not me.

The most humiliating moment was when she had gone and gotten Jake. I had made him wait outside, in the car, running, with the radio on, loud, so he could not overhear us. Thank God Leah and Seth weren't home. I would have died from embarrassment. It was bad enough the Pack would likely hear everything from Jake's thoughts.

Jake had sat down next to me, holding my hand, glancing between me and Sue worriedly. When Sue explained everything and asked us to wait a while, I was the one who had been unhappy with that recommendation. Once we had thanked Sue and had gotten back in the car, I tried to convince him that Sue was just worrying needlessly, that I would be fine by the next day. After all, I was walking. Granted, with Jake's help, but still, it was an improvement. And just as I had known he wouldn't, he didn't budge. He had gone on and on about how it was a good thing, how he would have some time to talk to Sam and see if he could figure out how to sudue his instincts for the future.

I had sighed sadly and he had squeezed my hand.

"You're not turning into a nympho on me now, are you?"

I ended up blushing furiously and staring out my window.

"No. I just...I'm not made of glass, you know? I was always treated that way by..." I had sucked in a breath, unwilling to say the name of the man I had broken nearly twenty four hours earlier. I was such a bad person. Here I was, only worrying about when my boyfriend could touch me again and not once did it enter my mind that I had hurt someone else. I had shaken my head, angry with myself.

"Never mind."

Jake had sighed this time.

"Bells, I'm not _him_. Alright? I know you're not made of glass but...you're not exactly made out of stone, either. You can still break, still fall. And I'll be damned if that's going to happen on my watch. Especially, if it's because of me. I love you too much."

He had been annoyed with me, I could tell, especially since I had made it obvious that _he_ was still on my mind. Yet, he had kept my hand in his the rest of the ride. I had kept quiet, afraid to offend him further. I should have known better. I hadn't even chosen him a full day before I was already going on about mine and Edward's relationship.

It still hurt. I couldn't deny that. Edward had been my everything and was supposed to be my forever. I was supposed to belong to his family, joining the ranks of the gorgeous vampires, being just as ferocious and deadly, hunting wildlife for eternity at Edward's side. That had always been my destiny. I had never wavered once in my decision and my path had been clear. Until Jacob, that is.

But as Jake held me close to him, my hand on his heart, moving slowly to its rhythm, it dawned on me. I could not give Jacob up. I just couldn't. I loved Edward but Jacob...Jacob, I loved, too. And I could not lose him. I could not push him away from me to run off and get married (although I already had that last thing) and give away my life and become his enemy for the rest of his. I just couldn't. It was impulsive and I hadn't though it through and I knew Edward and the Cullens would never forgive me, especially since I hadn't even been married for an hour technically. But, in reality, I didn't need to. One look in Jacob's pained tight eyes and I knew. He was the one I couldn't live without.

_I pulled away, staring at him._

_Jacob stared at me quizzically._

_"You have to go back now?"_

_I didn't say anything and that pained expression fleeted across his face before he hid it beneath that smile I had come to associate with being the one thing in the world that could always make me happy._

_"This time, you gave me three dances. That beats our record, right?" He was referring to my prom from so long ago. I thought about him with his long hair in a ponytail held by a rubber band. How nervous and young he had been. How gentle he had held me, how shy and embarrassed he had been to tell me what his father had said. I thought about him and compared him to this Jacob now. How things had changed drastically since that night I had been in that uncomfortable cast. So much had changed._

_I thought about him and Billy and the twins I had yet to be re-introduced to. I thought about the Pack and Charlie. I thought about my mom and how happy she was with Phil in Jacksonville. I thought about it all. Even that vision of the two black-haired children running into the forest._

_But most of all, I thought about how Jacob was looking at me right now. No matter how he tried to mask it, I could see him. I could see how scared he was and how hard he was trying not to make me upset on my wedding day. I could see how he was desperate for me to run back into his arms and never leave. But most of all, I could see that all he wanted was for me to be happy and that as much as it was killing him and he was going against everything he believed in, everything he knew to be true because of what he was, he was trying to give it to me._

_I hadn't even realized I'd been crying until he head moved forward, wiping my tears away wih his thumbs._

_"Why are you crying, Bells? This is supposed to be your day, remember?"_

_He tried to give me the Jacob smile but I ran into his arms, hitting up against his solid wall of chest, wrapping my own around him, never letting him go._

_"Bells..."_

_I could hear the faint waver at the end of my name._

_I drew back, grabbing his face._

_"Get me out of here. Now."_

_He narrowed his eyes, trying to detect whether I was serious or if I was just having a moment of crisis._

_"Jacob. Get me. Out of. Here."_

_He stared at me, unsure, until he finally found in my expression what he'd been looking for._

_He stepped up towards me._

_"Are you sure, Bells? Are you sure you know what you're doing?"_

_I nodded._

_He picked me up in his arms._

_"Last chance, Bells."_

_I pulled him toward me, kissing him._

_"Go."_

_He gave me a brief nod and then started running away with me._

_I could hear Edward's voice not far behind. Of course, he'd heard our conversation and Jacob's thoughts in conjunction. Of course._

_"Bella?"_

_Naturally I started to feel horrible. I did love Edward. I did. But, I couldn't be without Jake. I just couldn't. I know it was cowardly to go without a word to my new husband but he would understand. I just knew he would. He had always wanted me to have a human life. Now he would get his wish._

_"Bella!"_

_I covered my ears._

_"Jake, please go faster. Please."_

_He didn't say a word, just picked up speed like I asked him._

_"BELLA!"_

_I tightened my hold on my ears, unwilling to let __**that **__voice permeate my brain._

_"Faster. Please, faster."_

_And he had moved even faster, never stopping until we were well within the borders of La Push._

I found out later that Sam and the other wolves had stayed behind, making sure Seth and the other humans left safely. Jacob had replayed my words to Edward in his thoughts as he ran with me. That's what had caused Edward to stop chasing us.

Edward.

At some point, I was going to have to face him and the family I had left behind.

All these thoughts whirled around in my head as I stared off into the horizon. I was sad that I'd had to choose, especially after being so sure of my first decision for so long, but I could not regret choosing Jacob. I just couldn't.

As if he heard my thoughts, Jacob came and sat by me, taking my hand in his large one. I loved the way it felt, so rough yet so soft, so warm. He intertwined our fingers and I smiled.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

I shrugged. "Everything. I think I beat Britney Spears there in the record for the shortest marriage in history."

Jake shrugged in return. "Only by an hour or two."

I laughed and so did he. But my laughter soon died out when I thought of all of it and how I had left things. How much people must be talking about Bella Swan, Forks' very own Runaway Bride. But most importantly, of my jilted husband and his family.

"I do feel bad, Jake. For how I left it, left everything. At some point, I know I have to face it all."

I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his before intertwining our fingers again.

"Yeah, but not today. Today it's just us." He turned and kissed the top of my head. "And that being said, will you dance with me?"

I jerked up and smacked his arm, thinking he was being his usual sarcastic self. But one look in his eyes told me he was serious.

"There's no music."

He smiled and got to his feet, gently pulling me up with him.

"No need to be."

He took me in his arms, much like he had yesterday, and began moving us around in slow, careful circles, always making sure he supported me.

He started humming some song I had never heard before and I laid my head on his chest, keeping my ear near his heart, my left hand in his right one.

I smiled, closing my eyes as I listened to the familar rhythm that I had fallen asleep to last night.

"This is perfect. So perfect."

Jake stopped humming. "Really?"

I chuckled, nodding against him. "Yes."

He kissed my forehead and lingered there for a minute.

"Good."

He then pulled away, much to my chagrin and led me back over to the rock.

He rolled his eyes when I raised my brows in question.

"There's something I want to give you."

He sat next to me and pulled something out of his pocket. I could see some leather strings dangling from it.

He took my hand and kissed it before getting down on his knees in front of me. I could feel my heart start to race. On some level, I knew this was coming. Either choice meant a committment. But, honestly, with Jacob, I wasn't expecting _this_ this soon.

He heard my quick heartbeat and rubbed my hand soothingly.

"Easy, Bells. I'm not asking you to marry me."

I let out a sigh of relief, instantly worried he might take it the wrong way, that I didn't want to be committed to him.

"Not yet." He gave me a wink and I laughed breathlessly.

He kissed the inside of my wrist before holding out my hand and placing something in it.

I studied it. It looked like a leather...wristband of some sort. It was woven intricately and looked so beautiful.

I gazed up into Jake's nervous expression. He seemed almost afraid that I wouldn't like it.

"It's beautiful."

He smiled happily and took my free hand.

"Glad you like it. I made it for you."

I grinned. "You did?"

He nodded and let go of my hand to take the leather back to start putting it on my right wrist.

"Yeah. It's something I made when I was thinking of you when I was...hurt. I knew I probably wouldn't get to give it to you but...I still hoped I could one day."

I placed my left hand on his cheek, stroking his smooth russet skin gently with my thumb.

He turned and kissed my hand before staring up at me.

"It...symbolizes a promise. Sort of like a promise ring. I would have gotten you one of those but I can't afford it." He glanced up quickly. "Not yet. But, I'm saving up for one. I just need to fix a few more cars and then I'll-"

I grabbed him and kissed him.

"It's perfect," I whispered to him. "It's from you. I'd rather have this than any ring the best money could buy."

He smiled warmly at me.

"I know."

I smiled back.

I pulled him to me again.

"Come here."

I kissed him with everything I felt for him. I kissed him with all the conviction I had, knowing I had made the right choice. This all felt...natural to me. And though I loved Edward, and always would, I chose life with Jacob.

I know there would be days that I thought of him, that there would be days the what if's would play loudly in my head, but I could not regret this. Never this.

I drew back, gasping. "I love you, Jacob Ephraim Black. I choose you."

He opened his mouth, no doubt to make some sarcastic remark, considering what had already transpired between us, when his dark eyes widened and his jaw went slack.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"Jake?"

He just kept staring and it made me think maybe it was me.

"Is there something on my face? Do I have a bug in my hair? Oh God, is something hanging out of my nose? Oh no, there is, isn't there?"

I went to wipe whatever it was away on the back of my fingers when he stopped me.

There was an expression on his face that I could not read. Before I could get a chance to try, he bore down on me and kissed me with such passion and ferocity it sent my heart into overdrive.

I tried to move away, to get air, and when he sensed that I needed it, he released me, only to place kisses all over my face, my neck, down to the beginnings of my dress. Yes, the only thing Jake had been able to scrounge up for me before we left the cabin was a single white cotton dress. Where he got it from, I had no idea. Luckily, it covered most of my bruises.

Instead of dipping down like I expected him to do, he launched his kissing tirade on my arms down to both hands, turning them over and then making his way back up to my shoulders.

I loved the affection he was showering on me but I had to know what he was thinking.

"Um, Jake?"

He stopped and cupped my face softly. I then noticed the tears making their way silently down his russet cheeks.

"I always knew...thank you, thank you, thank you."

He pecked my lips repeatedly before burrowing his head into my neck, taking me in his big strong arms.

"Oh God, Bells. Thank you."

To say I was confused was putting it lightly. Just what was he going on about? I knew he was happy that I had chosen him but after everything we had experienced, did he really think I wouldn't? I had chosen him when I asked him to take me away. I had chosen him when I asked him to stay with me in the bed at the cabin. I had chosen him when I had kissed him and asked him to touch me. I had chosen him when I lay happily worn out in his arms. I had chosen him when I dozed off to the sound of his heartbeat and light snoring, warm and safe and loved.

"Jacob."

He moved back to stare at me, his eyes still wet with tears.

I stroked his cheek.

"Jake, I choose you. You know that, right?"

He grabbed my hand and placed my palm against his left cheek, leaning his head into my hand.

"I do, Bells. I do. And I am going to make you happy. I am going to take care of you and give you everything you need. I am going to love you for the rest of my life. I'm yours, honey."

I smiled, unable to contain the warmth and excitement bubbling in my chest.

"And I'm yours."

He grinned and picked me up in his arms, carrying me like the bride I had been not that long ago, carefully spinning us around. He looked so happy it was heartbreaking. I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. And for me to be the sudden inspiration behind it, I had no idea how it was possible but it made me happy to see him so carefree again.

He nuzzled my cheek and then rubbed my nose with his.

"I love you, Bella."

Nothing else mattered to me except those four little words. My heart felt like it burst upon hearing them. He had told me often enough but it never evoked such deep rooted feelings before. It felt as if my love for Edward was miniscule and had been pushed back, to forever remain a whisper of a memory. Like nothing could overshadow Jake's feelings for me and mine for him. When I looked in Jake's eyes, I _believed_ it. And I felt worthy, like Jake was made to love me all along and I him. Like we fit together. Perfectly. It didn't matter how fragile and human I was. It didn't matter that someday Jake might imprint and be taken away from me, leaving me permanently shattered, never to be put back together. Our past hurts no longer mattered. None of it did. It was just me and Jake.

"I love you, Jake." His smiling face lit up in an ecstatic grin and he put our foreheads together.

And now I knew.

This was always where I was supposed to be. Here in Jake's arms, laughing crazily along with him at some sort of private joke between us, but neither of us knowing really what it was.

It felt as if night had passed and we were now in the light, blinded by each other in the new breaking dawn.


	2. Part 2

**A/N: This was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information or be a little bit out of character for Bella, well, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with it, anyway. =) **

**Thank you for all of the encouragement and support. You guys are awesome! =D**

**A semi-trailer was made for this story. I'll link it in my profile. Check it out if you can, it kind of shows where this story is headed, as an alternative version to Breaking Dawn. ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

* * *

><p>I never got the chance to apologize to Edward or his family.<p>

Carlisle and Jasper met up with Sam and Paul, letting them know that they would be leaving. _All _of them.

I was none too pleased to find this out after the fact but Sam vehemently claimed it had been at their request that I not know of their meeting until the Cullens had left town.

Jake had taken my hand, warming my fingers with his own and squeezed affectionately.

"It's for the best, Bells."

I stared at him sadly because I knew he was right.

But that didn't stop me from being angry with the Cullens. Especially, when Sam passed a message from Carlisle to me publicly.

"He said you didn't need to worry about the Volturi. That they would figure something out and take care of it."

And just as I expected, Jake snapped to attention.

"Wait, what was that? Volturi? What does that mean, Bella?"

Great. The only time he called me Bella these days is when he was angry with me. And as I saw the understanding that I had indeed been keeping this secret from him dawn on his face, he was definitely angry.

I bit my lip nervously and stared at him pleadingly while I explained everything.

Jacob was livid but not enough to keep away when I launched into the Volturi's plans for me. He snarled under his breath and immediately plopped down next to me, taking me in his arms, holding me protectively, as if the Volturi might burst through the door at any moment.

I tried to soothe his anger, assure him that the Cullens would take care of it as promised. Jake didn't say anything for a while, didn't look at me. He just rubbed my right upper arm, comforting me as he could sense just how uneasy I was.

"Filthy bloodsuckers."

He mumbled it under his breath but I still heard him.

I waited until the others were distracted, talking about being ready and discussing a new patrol schedule that made me wince. Jake wasn't getting enough sleep as it was because of me. Now, it looked like he wouldn't be getting any. And again, because of me. Sometimes, I really hated Sam.

I laid my head on Jake's shoulder and looked up at him.

"Hey."

He glanced down at me, still obviously annoyed but his eyes had softened.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Honestly, I didn't want you to worry."

His jaw clenched.

"Doesn't matter. You should have told me. I shouldn't have had to find out through Sam and..._them_."

I held his hand in mine and played with his fingers.

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have. But, Jake, they will take care of it. They will. They always said the Volturi's timetable works differently than ours. When they say soon, they could mean in ten years or fifty."

He let out an angry breath.

"Yeah, I bet. They have all the time in the world, don't they?"

I lowered my eyes to his chest. I knew he was angry and he had every right to be. I just wished it wasn't at...me.

He sensed my uneasiness and let out a quiet sigh.

He gave me a little shake.

"Hey."

I lifted my eyes to his.

He gave me a small tight smile.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged lightly.

"Honestly?"

He waited.

"Really tired."

I burrowed my head into his neck, molding into him completely.

He watched me, concern marring his expression.

"I should take you back to the house, Bells. Let you get some rest."

I shook my head, holding onto him tightly.

"Please don't. I barely get to see you as it is. Now that I'm working full-time and you're on this INSANE PATROL SCHEDULE."

All the wolves' heads snapped up in my direction and I narrowed my eyes into slits at Sam. Paul glared right back at me and I felt Jake's arms tighten around me further. I could have sworn I heard a slight growl come out of his mouth but everyone went back to what they were doing so maybe it was just me. I knew Paul pretty well by now and he would never ever back down from a fight. The word made me shudder when I thought back to how Jacob had needed to protect me from him before.

Jake, thinking I was cold, cupped my chin and forced me to meet his gaze.

"Honey, I think I should take you home. You should sleep."

I wanted to protest but I knew it would only serve to further his irritation with me and I didn't want that. And, I really was tired.

"Okay."

He smiled, pleased that I had agreed, and got to his feet, pulling me with him.

"Sam."

Everyone turned towards us again.

"I'm taking her home."

Sam gave a brief nod.

"Just make sure to be back by eight. You and Jared are on tonight."

There was something about the way Sam spoke to Jacob that just set my teeth on edge. He was so...commanding and arrogant. And I hated it.

Jacob nodded and turned to walk us towards the door when I stopped. He looked down at me puzzled.

"Bells?"

I didn't know what was making me do it or even what it was that I was doing. Until I was.

I eyed Sam dangerously.

"Sam, switch Jacob's patrol. Let him take tomorrow's instead."

The room was dead silent as everyone's eyes went wide and then focused on Sam for his reaction. Truth be told, I thought they were all in shock. I was.

"Bella, I can't just switch it because you're asking me to. Everything is already set up-"

"I'm not asking."

I felt Jacob tug on my hand to get me to look at him. When I didn't, I heard him whisper in my ear.

"Bells, don't worry about it. Honey, you're exhausted. Let's just go. We have a few hours together, come on."

But I wouldn't be deterred. Something about this made me so angry I couldn't think straight. All I saw was Sam and somehow it clicked in my mind that he was the one keeping My Jacob away from me.

"Look at him." I grabbed Jacob's face and yanked it forward. "Look at how tired he is. He needs sleep, Sam! You cannot keep running them ragged like this. The Cullens are gone. You can relax a bit, don't you think?"

Before Sam could respond, Paul stood up, his body twitching. He didn't seem to notice when Sam put his hand on his shoulder, almost as if holding him back.

"No. We can't. Because of _you_, now we have even more bloodsuckers to worry about. How dare you question how Sam runs this pack! You're not one of us! If it wasn't for Jake, you wouldn't even be here!"

In a flash, I was facing Jacob's back and I could see faint tremors rolling through him.

"Do not. Speak. To her. Like that," I heard him speak through gritted teeth, followed by a warning growl.

"How can you sit there and pretend this is all okay? That it's okay that she's here with us, putting us all in danger once again? Now, because of her, we have a whole vamp army looking to crawl up our asses and she just _forgot_ to mention it? And now she's upset with how Sam is trying to protect everyone including _her_ because it makes you a little tired? We're all tired! And we wouldn't be if it wasn't for her! Black, think about it. She wouldn't even be here if that pansy bloodsucker hadn't left her again."

I felt the fury explode inside my veins and I rushed forward, past Jacob, trying to get at Paul. How dare he say that? Two strong arms grabbed me, holding me tight, and tried unsuccessfully to push me back to where I had been moments before.

"Go to hell, Paul!_ I _left _him_! I chose to stay with Jacob!"

Paul sneered and stepped forward, only to be stopped by Sam. Jacob's grip got even tighter and he pulled me back, keeping me there, fully shielding me. I nearly climbed onto his back, forcing him to hold me and peeked over his massive shoulder.

"Yeah, only because you got some! Because that bloodsucker wouldn't give you any!"

A growl sounded and I had no idea it had come from me until everyone watched me, even Paul, in surprise. Surprise that quickly turned to weirded out. I couldn't blame them. What was wrong with me? I was neither vampire nor werewolf so why I was snarling like one?

Jacob snarled, echoing me and I felt his body rocking underneath me. I was so enraged it didn't even enter my mind that I could be in danger. Though, I knew deep down that my Jacob would never hurt me.

"Don't you dare say that to her! Ever again or so help me God-"

"Enough! Paul, you're out of line. She is a part of this pack, no matter what you think, and it's time you accepted it. She's not going anywhere." Paul growled but retreated back to where he had been sitting, taking deep breaths. I growled quietly, watching him. I honestly didn't care what he thought of me. He was entitled to his opinion and truthfully, I had unwittingly put them all in danger. More than once. He had a point. But he was dead wrong on what happened between me and Jake. Dead wrong.

"Jacob, take Bella home. I'm going to have Quil take your patrol so you can have the night off. It's obvious that...Bella..._needs _you. So, take her home and head back here in the morning. You'll take Quil's shift then."

Jacob nodded, dropped me to my feet, turned around and hurried out the door with me in tow. Emily gave us a strange look as we passed. Well, she more or less gave _me_ a strange look. I wasn't sure what to do so I just gave her a tiny wave of my hand on the way out.

Jake and I got into the Rabbit and he drove back to my house. The entire ride was silent except for Jacob's heavy breathing. His body was still quaking but not nearly as bad as it had been back at Emily's. I kept giving his fingers reassuring squeezes with my hand but he never took his eyes from the road. Where a ride from La Push to Forks would have taken me fifteen minutes, he made it in seven. How we didn't get pulled over I would never know.

Once he turned into my driveway where my truck sat, he threw the car into park, got out, yanked my door open, pulled me inside and slammed the front door closed. I was surprised it was not laying in pieces with the force he put behind it.

He gently pressed me up against the door and embraced me, dropping his nose into my hair. I heard him inhale deeply a few times and the tremors slowed to a stop. He must have been closer to phasing than I thought. As quickly as the anger had flared up, it left me, making me feel horrible for getting Jacob so angry and causing friction between him and his pack brothers. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my lips to his bare chest.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he buried his hands in my hair, pulled my head back and placed a rough kiss on my lips. Within moments, his tongue parted them and was sweeping against my own, seeking some response. When I began to kiss him back, it seemed to excite him and he kissed me hungrily, practically devouring me. He leaned down and picked me up, prompting me to wrap my legs around his waist. He pushed me into the door a little more and groaned into my mouth when I threaded my fingers into his short hair and tugged, pulling him closer to me.

Our breathing through our noses was harsh but neither of us cared. We just needed to be...closer. Jake seemed to read my mind because he moved us off the door and carried me up the stairs.

He laid us down on my bed, taking great care not to crush me with his weight, and our kissing became frantic. He rolled us onto our sides and before I knew it, he was quickly unbuttoning my flannel shirt. He pulled away, gasping for air, and focused on his ministrations, intent on undressing me as fast as possible. My breathing was shallow and fast and I leaned forward, taking his bottom lip in my teeth and tugging.

He moaned and tried to kiss me again. I ignored him and instead moved to his neck. Before I knew what I was doing, I sunk my teeth deep into his skin.

He actually yelped and jumped back, staring at me in surprise.

"Bells, what-"

I sat up, my shirt hanging off of one shoulder, my tank top exposed.

"Jacob."

He rubbed the skin that was now forming into a bruise, watching me warily.

I held out my hand.

"I need you."

He glanced back and forth between my hand and me, almost as if wondering whether he should. I guess he could sense just how badly I really did need him and that part of him won out because in the next second, he had taken my hand and was crawling back on top of me, laying me down on the bed underneath him. He hovered above me, all his weight on his forearms, as he studied me intently. I smiled up at him apologetically.

"Sorry. I guess, I just got a little...over enthused."

He chuckled and shook his head, flashing those brilliant white teeth.

"Ah, Bells, what am I going to do with you?"

I reached up and took his ear lobe between my teeth, alternately nibbling, licking and sucking on the skin.

"Hopefully, what you were about to do before I so rudely interrupted you."

I extended my knee and rubbed my thigh slowly in between his legs.

Sure enough, I heard a sharp intake of breath next to me and before I knew it, I was flat on my back, staring up at him again. He was watching me hungrily and leaned in.

He skimmed his nose along my left cheek, making sure to return to nip at my jawline before moving down to my neck.

"I've missed you so much, honey."

I closed my eyes and tilted my head to give him better access. I licked my lips and moaned when he found _that_ spot and honed in on it with his one-track minded tongue. I bit my lip and shut my eyes tighter when I felt teeth scrape against the skin gently.

"I-I've missed you, too."

I felt him smile wickedly against me, obviously satisfied at causing my shortness of breath, yet again. Well, we couldn't have that, now could we?

"Jake, come here."

He lifted his head and I kissed him before leading his hand back to the buttons on my shirt.

"No more teasing."

I stared up at him meaningfully and he nodded, his eyes much blacker than normal. He continued to undress me and I held him close, kissing his neck, his cheek, his ear, as he did.

I scratched my nails down his back before letting my fingers find their way to the enclosures on his jeans and undoing them myself.

As I worked on him, he kissed me deeply, rubbing my sides, hiking my tank top higher and higher as he did, his warm fingers brushing just underneath my ribcage.

"I love you."

I found my eyes tearing up at his words. No matter how often he said them, no matter that we had been together a few weeks now, no matter that it had been proven to both of us that we belonged together, it still surprised me every time I heard the words. How could this incredible, no scratch that, wonderful and amazing person love _me_? I put him through hell, especially in the last week or so and yet every time he said them, I could hear the pure love and devotion that saturated his heartfelt expression.

And every time it made me want to cry, especially when I thought back to how I almost walked away from this, how I had almost given him up, so easily. The memories would stir pain inside my chest and it would just make the mistiness in my eyes worse until Jake would notice and then ask me what was wrong. I never told him, I never needed to. He would always know and he would hold me close, kissing my temple and stroking my hair, whispering, "The past doesn't matter anymore. We're together now and that's all that matters."

And every time, I would hold him to me tighter, thanking God or whoever was responsible for bringing My Jacob back to me.

-F-

"What time is Charlie supposed to be home?"

I laughed, feeling his mumble tickle my bare stomach.

"Luckily for you, not until 12 or so."

He glanced over at the clock on my dresser, noting that it was only six thirty.

"Good."

He yawned and laid his head back down on my stomach.

I rubbed his back and closed my eyes. I was so at peace in this moment.

A peace that was shattered a moment later when I heard Jake's surprised exclaim.

"Wow."

"What?" I murmured.

"The smell is still there. It hasn't changed. If anything, it's gotten stronger."

My eyes flipped open and I smacked him in the head. He winced but I knew it was more to do with the fact that I was angry and not me hurting him. If only I could. Where is Charlie's baseball bat when I needed it? Maybe I should start keeping it under my bed. He's got a gun, I should have the bat.

"What?"

I scoffed and pushed him away, crossing my arms.

"What do you mean, what?"

He stared up at me questioningly.

"Okaaay...was it something I said?"

I smacked his head again.

"What do you think?"

He didn't flinch so I picked up the pillow next to me and kept hitting him over the head with it until he held his hands up.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. Truce."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sorry about what?"

He looked relieved that I had stopped.

"Sorry about what I said."

"Why?"

"Because it was wrong."

"What was it that you said was wrong?"

He bit his lip and stared at me, begging with his eyes for mercy.

"That...umm...well...I guess...all of it?"

I swung the pillow harder at his head.

"All of it? You don't even know what you said was wrong? Which means you don't think it was wrong, do you?"

He lifted his hands up again.

"Okay, you got me. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I bet you are," I growled before tossing the pillow next to me and laying back down, covering myself with the sheets and blanket and turning my back to him.

A minute later, I felt a timid press of his forehead against my right shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to make you upset. I just didn't think before I spoke...I guess."

I whirled on him in a flash.

"You _guess_?"

I went to reach for the pillow again when he snatched it out of my grasp and hid it behind him.

"Give it back."

"Not until you tell me why that got you so upset and stop treating the pillow as a weapon."

I huffed and turned back over.

I felt his warm arms wrap around me and as much as I wanted to continue being angry with him, I wanted him to hold me that much more. I melted back into him, sighing, and closed my eyes as I felt him kiss the juncture between my neck and my shoulder.

"When you say that, it makes me think...maybe I'm...that maybe I'm...dirty or something. Especially, when you're near..." I couldn't finish the sentence. My face felt more than hot enough.

Understanding began to dawn on him and he kissed my neck.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "That's not how I meant it. At all."

"I know but...when you say it like that, especially after everything, it makes it sound like you did."

He kissed the side of my head gently.

"Never, honey. It was stupid of me to say it without realizing that was what you would think but I swear it's not how I meant it. That smell-"

"Can you use a different word, please?" I hissed.

He kissed me again before placing his chin on my shoulder.

"Okay. That _scent_ has nothing to do with you needing to take a shower or...anything like that. It's more of an overall thing."

I turned in his arms, frowning at him.

"What do you mean?"

He kissed my nose.

"It's like I told you before, Bells. You still smell the same, it's just...heightened, in a way. And it just keeps getting stronger."

I bit my lip nervously.

"What do you think it means?"

He kissed me before rubbing our noses together.

"I don't know, but I don't think it's anything bad. I wish you'd let me talk to Sam about it and see what he says."

My face went red and I buried my face into his neck.

"I really wish you wouldn't. Talk about embarrassing."

"It's not like that, Bells. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. He's going to hear it once we're phased together, anyway."

I scowled.

"I hate your wolfy side sometimes."

I heard his laughter rumbling deep in his chest.

"I thought you said you liked me better as a wolf because I couldn't talk."

I pulled back and glared at his arched brows and the amused glint in his dark eyes. "And sometimes, like right now, I still do."

He laughed again and hugged me tighter.

"I'll make you a deal, if it's still like this in a couple of days, I'm talking to Sam."

"Jake..."

"Bells, it's been a week already. And the only reason I didn't tell him then, besides you, is because you don't seem to be sick."

"No, just tired," I grumbled before yawning.

"Yeah, and pissier."

My eyes widened and I glanced up at him, wondering if he was suicidal or just plain stupid.

Before I could open my mouth, he cut me off and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on. You know I'm right. I mean, you taking on Sam and Paul? Really?"

I was going to make an extremely smart comeback but then thought better of it. I was really too tired to argue and I just wanted him to hold me. It wasn't too often anymore that I got him to myself like this. And he was tired himself, I could see it. He really needed to rest, so much more than me.

I shrugged and burrowed my head into his chest.

"Sam is pushing you too hard. You need your sleep, Jake. And don't even try to deny it."

He sighed and rubbed my back.

"Bells, you shouldn't worry about me so much. I'll be fine. I always am."

I lifted my head to look at him.

"Jake, I know you are but you still need to rest every once in a while. The more sleep you lose, the more I worry. That's not going to change. You've got dark circles under your eyes, baby."

I trailed them gently with my fingers and he stared at me in adoration.

I blushed and looked down.

"What?"

"You just called me baby," he whispered.

I bit my lip again. Whoops. I had always vowed that Jake and I would never become that couple that had all the worst pet names in history. There would be no Pooh Bears or Lovemuffins or Snuggles or any of that nonsense. Jake's Honeys were enough and they were allowed because he meant them purely as my own personal endearment. He had always called me honey, even before we were together so it was okay in my book. But, others were a no-no and he knew it. And now, here I was, calling him baby. As mortified as I was at the mental slip, though, it still somehow felt...right to be calling him that. Go figure.

"Oh...um...well...sorry?"

I looked up at him hopefully and he reached up and kissed me.

"I love you," He nuzzled my cheek and smirked. "Pooh Bear."

I smacked his chest and he laughed. "Oh God."

"So, does this mean the pet names gate has officially been opened?"

I smacked him again, harder this time.

I ignored the stinging in my hand and held up a finger, poking it in his chest.

"Jacob Black, don't you dare. I just...forgot, for a second. That's all."

His smirk got wider and he bit his lip to keep from laughing again.

"Uh huh. Funny what happens when you let yourself stop thinking for a bit and just feel." He winked and it made me smile but blush and I buried my face into his neck. Of course, he was referring to how I knew I loved him, how I chose him, really most of our relationship. Of course.

"Shut up, Jake."

"Whatever you say, Lovemuffin."

"Jake..." I growled in warning.

I felt him shake as he laughed silently.

He pulled his fingers through my hair in soothing strokes and nuzzled me before cuddling me completely. The heat combined with his gentle touches were too much and my eyes started to close.

"So, do we have a deal?"

I pressed my lips together tightly. He knew me too well. Damn him.

"If it doesn't go away in a few days, you'll talk to Sam about it," I mumbled sleepily.

"Yep."

"Okay." I didn't bother fighting it. What was the point? I was too tired.

He kissed my head and laid his cheek on top of my hair.

"Get some sleep, Bells."

"You, too," I yawned.

I heard him yawn in response and I smiled. No matter what Jacob said, I also knew him well.

"Right behind you, honey."

I kissed his chest softly before laying my forehead to the burning skin, adjusting to the temperature like always and falling asleep.

-F-

By the time Charlie came home, Jake and I were dressed and had moved downstairs, watching an old movie on TV.

We both smiled and said hello as he walked in, eyeing us suspiciously, making a show of taking his coat off, wittingly flashing his gun belt every chance he got. He sat in the recliner, glancing at the screen.

"What are you two watching?"

"Some old movie that just came on."

Charlie nodded.

"Anything good?"

"I'm not sure of the title but Cary Grant's in it."

"Huh. Say, Jake, isn't it kind of late for you to be out on a school night?"

Jake flashed his dazzling smile at my dad like he always did whenever Charlie tried to pull off the overprotective father/cop routine with him. As much as Charlie may have been rooting for Jacob back in the day, once he and I were officially together, Charlie was just as strict with him as he had been with Edward. Must be a father thing.

"Actually, I was hanging out with Bells until you got home. I didn't want her to be alone. I was going to head back to the rez once you got here but my dad called and said I might as well stay over and just head home to change clothes in the morning before going to school. He doesn't want me driving this late. Would that be okay with you?"

I watched both Jake and my father as he went through his whole show of mulling it over. I tried to imagine Edward sitting here, saying this to him as an excuse to spend the night with me and wondering just what his response would be then. Probably a bullet that would bounce off of his statuesque body which would've resulted in a fun night of explanations that I never wanted to give.

Charlie shrugged much to my amazement. Wow, he really did love Jake. Then again, Jake, in his eyes, didn't break up with me, leaving behind a daughter Charlie didn't recognize and that frightened him to death to go running off to Italy. So, I guess Jake would win out in that round.

"Of course. You're welcome here anytime, kid."

Jake grinned happily and squeezed me. "Thanks."

"On the couch." Charlie turned and narrowed his eyes meaningfully.

Guess it was just a father thing.

Jake bit his lip and nodded.

"Absolutely."

Charlie smiled triumphantly and turned back to the television screen, that wicked gleam in his eyes, as if he had broken up some secret plot of mine and Jake's to have nonstop sex up in my room after he had fallen asleep.

If only he knew...

And I hoped fervently he never would. That's all I needed. Another uncomfortable sex talk with Charlie. Not to mention he would shoot Jake and then I would definitely have to explain that one. I shuddered at the thought. Jake held me closer and rubbed my upper arm subconsciously as we watched Cary Grant pace the boat incessantly.

I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my hair, oblivious to Charlie's small smile at the gesture that I inconspicuously caught out of the corner of my eye.

I smiled myself and snuggled up to Jake.

Yep, definitely a father thing.


	3. Part 3

**A/N: Just a reminder, this was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information or be a little bit out of character for Bella, well, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with it, anyway. =)**

**Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement and support. I can't thank you enough. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

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><p>I paced the living room incessantly, paying no attention to the television that was talking at me whatsoever.<p>

I kept glancing at the clock and each time I would sigh. Time was going so slowly today, almost as if it knew it was killing me with its refusal to move forward to the hour I wanted.

I had already cleaned the kitchen twice, vacuumed the living room, scrubbed the bathroom down, and rearranged my book collection. And yet, 3:00 was still not here. I looked at the clock one more time to confirm.

12:53 blared back at me. Yep, still not 3:00.

I was restless. Today was my one day off since I would be working on Saturday until close. And I was not enjoying it like I should. Instead I was worrying the floor nonstop.

Something about Jacob going out on patrol today after school made me anxious. I couldn't understand why, I was not afraid that he would come across any vampires, not like I had been the first few weeks after the wedding. No, now it was...some different feeling. I didn't know what it was and I didn't like it. All I knew is I wanted Jacob here with me. And as soon as he got home to change, I was going to call him and tell him I wanted to see him.

I paced a couple of more times when a knock sounded on the door. I glanced at the clock and sure enough the time hadn't changed. I had no idea who it could be.

I got to the door and slowly opened it to reveal a smiling Jacob. I gasped in surprise.

"Hi, honey."

He didn't get a chance to say anything more because in the next second I had run into his arms, hugging him tight. Once I felt his arms wrap around me, just like that the uneasiness melted away.

"Jacob," I breathed.

He chuckled and pulled back, staring at me.

"Miss me?"

I smiled and hugged him again.

"Always."

A minute later, he chuckled again.

"Ah, Bells? Can I get in the door? Then you can jump on me all you like." I rolled my eyes. I could just hear the smirk in his suggestive meaning.

I released him and grabbed his hand, leading him inside. "Sure, sure."

Once the door was closed, he had me up against the wall, kissing me frantically, his hands roaming my body carefully, meaningfully. I was a tad uncomfortable, which was rare for me during these moments since I usually craved them, but I had to push him back slightly so he could get the message. And he did.

He jumped back, gasping for air.

"Sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to-"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room and shoved him down on the couch before I crawled into his lap, my knees on either side of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled.

"It's okay. The wall and I just weren't meshing well." He placed his hands on my back and held me to him.

"Sorry, I-"

I smirked. "Carry on." I then attacked his mouth eagerly.

I felt his hands slip underneath my shirt and begin to glide along my skin. A few weeks ago, this would not have been okay. And even after my _wedding night_, I still would have thought he would be trying to cop a feel or make me go insane with need for him or both. But, things were different now and I knew what he was really doing.

Once his hands got done exploring my back, they moved to my front, always staying near my ribcage, trailing down my left calculatedly before doing the same to my right. He was checking me, making sure I was unharmed. Another effect of the imprint, Jake always felt the need to make sure I was alright with his own hands after we had been separated for a while. It always embarrassed him, his intense need to do this check on me, but I didn't mind it. I always gave myself over and remained patient during his examinations. If it made him feel better, then that was fine by me.

When I felt his hands slide out from underneath my shirt and stray to my covered thighs, I broke the kiss and put my forehead to his.

"Do I pass the test?"

He watched me intently, his gaze a piercing one, almost as if he was trying to see what was going on inside my head. The action reminded me of someone past but unlike him, Jacob had full unbridled access to me. Everything I was thinking, everything I was feeling was always bared to him, whether I wanted it to be or not. He had always been able to read me well, even before the imprint.

"You needed me today."

I nodded against him and lifted his right hand to my cheek. "Yes, but not because I was hurt."

He stroked my cheek before tousling his fingers in my hair and pulling them through repeatedly in a soothing motion. My eyes drifted closed. He knew I loved it when he did that.

"Then, why? Why were you so scared? Another second and I was going to charge over here and bust the door down. The only thing keeping me from doing it was that Jared was here and he said you were okay."

My eyes opened wide.

"Jared was here?"

He nodded and I buried my face in his neck as he rubbed my back.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm trying. I don't know why but...it really bothers me that I don't get to see you more. I don't like that Sam is making you patrol this much. I don't like that last night you couldn't even stop by for five minutes."

"Honey, I wanted to be here. I tr-"

My head snapped up and I watched him sadly, trailing my fingers gently along the circles under his eyes. "I know you did. I could tell. But, even if you had gone home to get some sleep instead, _that_ would have been better. But you couldn't." He opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off. "Don't even. I can feel just how tired you are right now."

He closed his mouth and kissed my forehead. He knew he couldn't deny it. Even if we weren't imprinted, I would still be able to tell just by the sight of him. By the slow drag in his walk, by the way he blinked at me tiredly as I spoke, the way I felt his body relax under mine when he pulled us down into a laying position with him under me. I knew. He was exhausted and Sam was running him right into the ground. The thought made my teeth clench.

I sighed and kissed his nose before laying my head down on his chest, burrowing into his neck once again, deeply inhaling and relaxing as his calming scent washed over me.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I don't mean to be so...clingy. I just...I don't know, lately I just...hate being away from you for so long." I fingered the collar of his t-shirt. "I guess that's why you're not in school."

He didn't say anything, just kissed the top of my head.

I drew circles on his chest. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be better, I promise. I'm going on about Sam but really I'm not helping either. I'm sorry."

He shrugged and yawned. "School's for the birds, Bells. It's fine. Honestly, it was nice to get out of there and come see you. I'm just glad you're okay."

I lifted myself until I was staring down into his dark eyes, my lips very near to his.

"School is not for the birds. It's important."

He rolled his eyes and I slapped his chest.

"I mean it, Jake."

He smirked up at me. "What's the big deal? I have the old werewolf excuse, remember? And if anything, you'll help me with my paper."

That stopped me. "Paper?"

He yawned again. "Yeah, something about some book we're reading in class. I don't even remember the name. Honestly, I barely paid attention. I'll find out and get back to you. Now, c'mere."

He pulled me down to him and kissed me deeply. I could tell he wanted to continue but he was just too tired. And I wanted nothing more than for him to get some much needed rest so I didn't push.

He nuzzled my cheek and pulled me closer. He buried his nose in my hair and closed his eyes, inhaling.

"Mmmm. Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd like to take you out tonight, if that's okay."

My brows knitted together in confusion.

"Don't you have to patrol?"

He shook his head. "No, I switched with Em. I'm gonna take his late night shift."

A little whine escaped the back of my throat. "Jake..."

"Bells, come on. I've been missing you, too, you know."

I laid down on his chest.

"I know, but you have school again tomorrow. Why don't we wait until the weekend? We'll do a date then."

And just as I expected, he refused. "Nope. You're working and besides patrols, I'm gonna be holed up with those cars in the garage. Come on, Bells, please?"

I didn't say anything. I really didn't want him to lose more sleep. Especially, because of me.

"You're going to make _me_ beg? Really, Bells?"

I hid my smile in his chest and stifled my giggle.

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

I lifted my head to look up at him. "You take a nap with me."

He arched an eyebrow. "When? Tonight?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Tonight. No, dum dum. Now. You're out of school, you don't have to rush home or go on patrol or anything, do you?"

"No."

"Then, take a nap with me."

He glanced around skeptically. "Here?"

I rolled my eyes again and grabbed his hand, getting up. He followed and I led him upstairs to my room. He went to close my door when I stopped him.

"Uh uh. You know the drill. If Charlie comes home while we're asleep, it's better if the door is open."

He shrugged and left it alone. He scooped me up into his arms, making me shriek in surprise, and then dropped me onto the bed unceremoniously. I grabbed my pillow and hit him with it.

"Jerk."

He snatched it and fell onto the bed, face first into the pillow.

"You love me."

I shoved him, not moving him one inch and crossed my arms.

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled under my breath.

A second later, his arm flashed out and pulled me into him. I curled into his side and he turned his head to look at me.

"So, movies tonight?"

I smirked. "Like I have a choice."

"Well, I think Face Punch is out of theaters but I'm sure we could find something that sucks just as much. You're good at that."

I smacked his arm and he laughed.

"Shut up. Now, be good and go to sleep."

This time, he rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mom."

I smacked him again for good measure.

He rolled me onto my back and snuggled into me, keeping his head on my chest, right above my heart. Another habit he had formed as of late. And each time, he became serious and said things that always made me melt inside.

This time he didn't disappoint.

"That's the best sound I've ever heard."

I chuckled as I played with his hair. "I bet."

"Seriously, Bells. You have no idea how scared I was that I wouldn't get to hear it anymore."

I kissed his head and hugged him tight. "You no longer need to be scared."

"I know." He lifted his head and kissed me before laying back down, pulling me closer into him. "And I love it that much more."

Silence passed as I rubbed his back and I could feel his breathing even out into slower deeper intervals. I was convinced he was asleep until I heard him mumble to me sleepily, "I love you, Bella."

I smiled and kissed his head again.

"I love you, too, Jake."

-F-

We both stood in front of the theater, hands entwined, as we stared up at the board listing what movies were available to us.

"**Tangled**, what is that?"

"No way am I going to watch a kids' movie."

"Oh, that's what it is? Okay then, how about...**Burlesque**?"

"A chick flick _and_ a musical? Awesome."

I sighed in frustration. Sometimes, he really irritated me. He would shoot down everything I came up with but wouldn't offer any choices of his own.

"Okay. What's **Love and Other Drugs** about?"

"Love and drugs?"

I glowered at him and almost as if he knew I was at the aforementioned limit, he smiled and began to play nice. "Kidding. I don't know but someone said the girl gets naked and there's a lot of sex scenes. You know, on second thought-"

"Pass!"

He ignored my glare and moved on, almost as if it didn't phase him.

"Alright, what about...**Due Date**? Paul said it was pretty funny."

"Wait, wait, wait. I tell you Sam and Emily both said Harry Potter was amazing and I wanted to see it and you 'didn't trust them' but Paul, Paul of all people, says something's funny and you _trust_ him enough to see it?"

He turned to stare at me helplessly. "Bells, come on. Please don't go make me see that stupid wizard movie. Please. They're running around yelling with a bunch of wands, making pretty light shows and I do _not _want to pay to see that. There's no fight scenes or explosions."

I arched a brow at him.

"Have you _seen_ Harry Potter?"

He gave me the sad puppy dog look. I hated it when he did that. He always got his way and he knew it. Damn him.

"Come on."

Considering that he had put up with my choice of films the last time we were at the movies, I acquiesced. "Okay, but when it comes out on DVD, we're renting it. _I_ would like to see the pretty light shows and yelling with a bunch of wands." He grinned wide and I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the last ten minutes. "Aright, pick something."

His mouth dropped in shock. "You're letting me choose?"

"Yes. Just not that...sex movie." I felt my cheeks heat up and I didn't miss his wicked grin before he turned to look at the marquee again.

"Whatever you say, honey. Okay, I'm gonna go with...**Secretariat**."

My eyes widened as he eagerly pulled me over to the ticket window.

"**Secretariat**? Wha-don't you want to see something with some car crashes and gun fire or something? You do realize I'm letting you pick whatever you want, right?"

He smiled happily at the lady printing up the tickets. "Yep."

"Here you go. Theater 9 is on your right when you walk in. Enjoy the show."

Jake nodded amiably. "Thanks." And then he pulled a very disturbed me into the lobby with him.

I reached up with my free hand and placed it on his forehead. Yep, still burning to the touch. Jake looked at me strangely.

"Hmmm, you feel normal."

He swatted my hand away and walked us over to the snack stand.

"Jake?"

He eyed the food and I could see his mouth watering already. Typical werewolf.

"You do realize you picked the movie about a racehorse, don't you?"

He nodded and continued to watch the pretzels revolving around inside the container on the counter as we waited on line.

"Unbelievable. You are willing to go watch the horse movie but I suggest Harry Potter and it's vetoed before I even finish saying it."

"Yeah, 'cause it's girly."

I gaped at him. "And the movie you chose isn't?"

He smirked. "It totally is."

I stared at him in disbelief and he laughed, pulling me into a hug. "Trust me, Bells. This will be a good one." When my expression didn't change, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "If it's really that big a deal, Em'll download Hairy Potty for you and put it onto a DVD."

I smacked him in the chest at the same time the older couple in front of us turned around. Jake turned towards me and pointed his finger in warning. "And that's illegal which is why we are going to come back and pay the 20 bucks to see it."

I smirked myself. "Really? You promise?"

He grimaced. "Yeah. Promise."

I kissed his cheek happily.

The older couple smiled and turned around. Jake bent down to whisper in my ear. "Bells, I'll get you the DVD and we'll watch it this weekend if you lay off of me about it tonight, deal?"

I laid my head on his chest. "Deal." He kissed the top of my head.

The line moved again and now the couple in front of us were being served.

"Why did you pick **Secretariat**?" I whispered.

"Because you wanted to see Harry Potter," he whispered back.

I lifted my head to look at him in confusion. He grinned and leaned down. "I wasn't going to take you to a movie you wanted to see."

I glared at him and he chuckled before placing his lips at my ear. "I don't want your attention on the screen."

He drew back and wriggled his eyebrow playfully. I gasped and slapped his chest, getting his meaning. I buried my red face into his chest as he chuckled again, kissing my hair.

Of course, I should have known. This was Jake, after all. He loved to find new places to kiss me until I was begging him never to stop.

Jake glanced up at the board as the other couple were paying.

"Want anything?"

"No, I'm okay. I'm still full from dinner. Thanks, though. Actually, I'm gonna run to the bathroom quick."

Jake groaned. "Again? Bells, you just did before we left the restaurant."

I could feel my cheeks flush. "Well, I have to go again. What do you care?"

He heard the sharp edge in my voice and held his hands up. "You're right. I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'll wait for you right over there." He nodded his head towards the group of seats right near the bathroom's entrance.

I smiled at him. "Okay." I lifted up on my toes and kissed him before walking away.

Once I was finished, I quickly washed my hands and headed out. And I bumped right into someone coming out from the men's room.

"Sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going."

The blonde man turned around and it was no other than Mike Newton.

"Bella?"

I studied him.

"Mike?"

He laughed and gave me a hug.

"Yeah! How have you been?"

I was slightly uncomfortable and meekly hugged him back but before he could deepen it, I pulled back.

"I'm doing good. How about you?"

He shrugged, smiling. "Can't complain." And he really couldn't. I hadn't seen him in little over a month, not since my doomed wedding to Edward, but he looked good. His hair was cut, he looked like he was putting on a little muscle, filling out, not so lanky as he once was, and he seemed...decently attractive. Weird. "How about you? I haven't seen you since-I haven't seen you in a while."

I smiled, not even paying attention to the fact that he was trying to be tactful about the whole Edward situation, and thought back on my last month. "Really good."

"Yeah, you know my mom told me you were back working at the store."

I bit my lip and dug my hands into my back pockets. "Oh?"

He smiled wide.

I nodded. "Yeah. It was really nice of her to give me my old job back."

He chuckled. "Well, she's always liked you."

I couldn't help but blush. "So, who you here with?"

"A couple of buddies of mine wanted to see **Due Date**. They heard it was really funny and we were looking to avoid homework so here we are." We both laughed. I was immediately grateful for Jake's wicked way of thinking and for choosing another film. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm actually here with Jacob Black. You remember him, right?"

I saw a little bit of the light go out in his face. Yep, same old Mike. "Barely. That's cool, you hanging out with him. Isn't he like a couple of years younger than us? I mean, he's still in high school, right?"

I didn't like the way this conversation was going. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes slightly.

"He's a senior."

Mike shrugged amiably. "Right. You know, Bella, you should come hang out with me on campus. They have parties all the time and stuff. Tyler's there and Lauren, you'd have a great time."

I wanted to roll my eyes but bit my lip instead. Right, like I would have fun with Lauren there or even him. I could see his gaze roving over my body out of the corner of my eye when he thought I wasn't looking. While his physical appearance might have changed, he certainly hadn't.

"Thanks, but I work every night until close and Saturday. Sunday's really the only day I get with Jake."

He looked surprised. "Oh, so you and he...?"

I smiled and nodded. He ran a hand through his short hair. "Oh, that's cool. I mean, kinda quick but wow, yeah, I mean, I guess if it wasn't Cullen, it was gonna be him, right?"

My jaw dropped. Did he really just say that? To _me_? I could feel the burning in my face and before I could respond, Jake was at my side.

Mike looked just as shocked as I at his sudden appearance.

"Hey."

Jake, who usually got a kick out of torturing Mike and watching him squirm, much to my chagrin, did not crack a smile or even acknowledge his greeting. Instead, a dark expression had settled on his features. Very dark and...angry.

"What's taking you so long?"

It took me a minute to figure out he was talking to me.

"Um, nothing. I just ran into Mike here and we were catching up. Jake, you remember Mike Newton, don't you?"

"Yeah. Pleasure."

I stared at his face, horrified. He looked enraged and I could see his outline starting to become hazy as his body shook. What? Was he about to...phase?

He glared at Mike and Mike glared right back surprisingly. Jake's shaking became worse and I knew I had to do something to calm him down immediately.

I took one of the sodas out of his hand and then took it in my own, squeezing his fingers.

"Jake," I whispered.

He didn't look at me, didn't respond. I had to get him out of there. I turned back to Mike and gave him a strained smile. "Mike, it was good seeing you. Have fun at the movie and I'm sure I'll see you around at some point."

Jake's grip tightened at my words and I nearly yelped in pain. I bit my lip and winced instead.

Mike's eyes darted back and forth between Jake and I but eventually he gave in.

"Yeah, I'll see you around. Good to see you _again_."

I nearly winced again just at the suggestive meaning he had provided. And sure enough, Jake's grip tightened further and I brought the straw of the soda I was carrying to my lips just to have something to bite on.

I couldn't wait anymore. Jake was shaking so much now Mike and everyone else could see it plain as day.

"Hey, is he okay?"

"Yep. He's fine."

I turned and led Jake away. He didn't want to follow so it was tougher than it should have been but eventually he did. When we were far enough away, I looked back and saw the shaking had gone down some, though still there. His eyes were still fixed on the spot where Mike, presumably, had disappeared into, Theater 4.

"Jake?"

He still didn't look at me. I was worried now. Why had he been so jealous? I was with _him_.

"Jacob?"

Only then did he turn back towards me.

I tried to smile. "You still want to see the movie?" I figured once we were inside the theater, we could talk and I could calm him down. Or kiss him until he forgot all about Mike. Either one.

He glanced down at the food items in his arm and then at me and then back towards the spot Mike had gone. I felt his grip tighten even more on my hand and this time I cried out against my will.

His head snapped back towards me and the few people around us stopped to stare. Jake's eyes fell to our joined hands and then traveled back up to my eyes that were tearing, the pain was so intense. He let go and I slowly retracted my hand, trying to hide it behind the soda so the people watching us couldn't see.

I heard a sound next to me and turned just to see Jake dumping all the food in the trash except a package of Twizzlers. He handed those to me and then he put his hand on the small of my back, urging me gently towards the front entrance, glaring at the busybodies as we passed.

Once we were outside he led me off to the side to where we would have a little privacy and then softly pressed me up against the wall. He started to kiss me but then his face screwed up in disgust and he pulled away, shaking worse than before.

"I can't. I can't."

I couldn't understand what was happening.

"What?"

He shook his head, not even looking at me. I saw him taking deep breaths, trying to calm down but it wasn't working.

"I can't. I have to talk to Sam. I know you didn't want me to but I have to. Right now. This can't wait." He dug into his pocket and handed me the keys, then his wallet. "You have to drive the car back. I'm gonna run."

My eyes widened. What was going on?

"Jake, wait. What? Why? Why are you leaving me here? What happened in there? Did I miss something?"

He still didn't look my way. He continued to mutter, almost talking to himself as if I wasn't there.

"I'll phase and get one of the guys to come get you. I can't. I can't. I can't do it." He placed his bunched fists to his temple, almost as if he was willing the wolf to stay in control. Now, I was scared for him.

I laid a soothing hand on his cheek. "Shh. It's okay, Jake. It's okay."

He let out a whine and went to turn into my hand, nuzzling it, when he started trembling and jumped back. "I have to go," he said through gritted teeth, unwilling to look at me.

I don't know why but I felt my eyes tearing up again. I knew it was stupid and wouldn't help the situation but I was upset at this turn of events. Here, we had had a nice dinner and were going to see a movie, our first official date ever, and now it was all for naught. I didn't understand any of it. Jake was obviously not in a position to explain.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry." He watched painfully as the tears released themselves down my cheeks. He extended his finger to catch them but then thought better of it and pulled it away, making more tears drop.

"Bells, I...your hand. Is it broken?"

I flexed it and winced slightly but it was fine. "No," I sniffled.

"Bells, look at me."

I did, wondering what it was that I had done so wrong that he was now fighting with himself for control.

"Stay very still and do not say a word. Understand?"

I nodded.

He carefully took a step forward and reached out for my hand. I was going to offer it to him, knowing he would want to examine it, but remembered his instructions and thought better of it. He gingerly lifted it and slowly turned it so he could bring the inside of my wrist to his lips, pulling the sleeve of my hoodie back. He kissed the skin reverently and then inhaled along the line of my arm before stopping and then dropping it like he'd been burned. By the time I registered what had happened, he was already twenty feet away from me, his body line blurring.

"I'm not in control. And I can't be around you. Not like this. I won't hurt you. You need to drive home. I'll phase and run with you, inside the trees near the road."

I surged a step forward and he took a step backwards. It hurt to see.

"Jake, I know you won't hurt me."

"No, you don't!"

I got angry then. I understood he needed to calm down but he was not giving me anything to work with and I was tired of trying to piece it all together myself.

"Yes, I do, Jacob! Stop this! Talk to me! Don't just throw your keys at me and tell me to drive home by myself for two hours while you just coast next to me without telling me what's going on. Not happening!"

I could see him shake violently at my words. I was pushing him and I needed to stop. His eyes flashed angrily and he snarled at me.

"Don't you get it? I smell him all over you! And with your scent right now, as thick as it is, it's driving me crazy! Every instinct I have is screaming at me to go hunt him down and rip him to shreds! And I'm trying not to do that!"

I covered my mouth fearfully. Why would Mike's scent set him off? He had smelled worse scents on me before and it had made him want to phase sometimes but he had learned to control it. If he could handle the "vampire stench", why would Mike's be the one to bring him to the brink of losing control?

The answer was clear. It was me. My scent.

I wiped my cheeks and nodded, knowing there was nothing I could do but listen to him and give him the time he needed. I turned and started to head towards the area he had parked the car in.

"Bella,"

I stopped. I felt his fingertips graze my hair. "I'm sorry." I turned around but he was already gone.

-F-

Jake had kept his word and every few miles or so I would see a flash of reddish brown on the side by the trees, just letting me know he was there.

By the time I got to Forks, I was pretty angry. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was furious. I tossed the keys to the floor like always and got out of the car, slamming the door, standing there, waiting.

Nothing.

I stormed into the house and stomped up the stairs, ignoring Charlie's questioning of why I was home so early from his recliner in the living room. I went straight into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Within seconds, I was undressed and stepping inside the warm shower. I turned the faucet to hot, loving the feel of the heat burn away the chill that had begun to set into my skin. I grabbed my shampoo and went to work.

-F-

I wrapped my towel around me after squeezing the excess water out of my hair and stepped out of the shower. I heard a knock on the door and quickly glanced at the knob to make sure I had locked it. I had.

"Bells?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You okay?"

I sighed quietly. "Um, yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about before, I just was a little...mad."

"You and Jake have a fight?"

I grabbed my lotion and bit my lip.

"Dad, nothing personal but I don't want to talk about it right now. I'm sorry, it's just...I'm tired and I think I'm gonna go to bed."

Silence followed and I started to wonder if he was even there when I heard him speak.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thanks, Dad. You, too."

"Yep."

I waited a minute before opening the door and peeking out into the hallway. The coast was clear so I headed to my room. I walked in and closed the door. I turned around and nearly screamed.

Jake was sitting on my bed, staring at me. My window was open right behind him. I knew I should have locked that thing before showering.

I held my hand to my chest, trying to slow my frantic heart before turning towards my dresser and started to pull out pajamas.

"Bells."

I ignored him. I was still furious with him. The heat from the shower had relaxed me but it didn't make me forget why I had been so tensed up in the first place.

Truthfully, I had no idea why I was mad at him. He hadn't done anything wrong, although it had been awfully weird and frightening at the same time. I knew he had done it to protect me but for some reason it also angered me. And I had no idea why.

"Bella." His voice was softer this time, full of pleading. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't ignore that voice. I turned to find him still on my bed.

"You should get out of here before Charlie sees you and decides to use you for target practice."

He didn't respond, only held out his hand.

"Oh, you can stand being around me now?" Maybe that was it. Maybe it bothered me that I was the one that had pushed his control. Maybe because it was all out of my control, as well. "Why, because I took a shower?"

He looked hurt but he motioned for me to come over towards his hand.

I sighed and tossed my clothes on the dresser before slowly making my way over to him. I went to put my hand in his when he shook his head. He inclined his head towards my other one. I frowned but switched hands so my right one was holding the towel and placed my left hand in his.

He gently traced his finger along my skin, prodding, inspecting. I then realized that was the hand that he had unwittingly unleashed his death grip on. He was checking it for injuries. When he was done examining it, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, whispering "I'm sorry."

As angry as I had been at him, as much as I still wanted to be, I could feel it slowly slipping away, like always whenever he touched me like this. Here I was, standing in nothing but a towel before him and his focus was my hand.

I carefully crawled into his lap and threw my arms around his neck, not caring about the towel in the least, and buried my face in his neck. I just needed to feel him. He let out a deep breath and embraced me tightly.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry."

I trailed my finger lazily along his collarbone. "It's okay. I just wish...I had been smarter about the whole thing."

He pulled back and stared at me in disbelief. "This wasn't you. _Isn't_ you. Not...intentionally. It's me. Something set me off when his scent mixed in with yours and started to mask it in a way. Not covering it completely, because yours overpowered it but...mixing with it."

I stared up at him sadly. "But, Jake, you know I would never..."

"I do know that." He stroked my cheek before kissing my forehead. "God, do I know that." He closed his eyes and inhaled near my wet hair. I felt him relax underneath me almost immediately and I vowed to shower three, four times a day, if it would help him. I didn't like to see him upset like this, because of me, never mind at all.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, him just breathing me in, me feeling his chest expand and then deflate repeatedly. I was almost afraid to ask this next question but I needed to know.

"What did Sam have to say?"

I felt him start to tense again and I regretted asking. I knew it wouldn't be something I wanted to hear.

"He's not sure what to make of it. This hasn't happened with Emily or Kim or...Rachel. And definitely not Claire. So, he has no idea but he thinks it might be an Alpha thing, since it's in my blood. Maybe something to do with the imprint. He doesn't really know. He said he's gonna talk to the Elders and go over the legends, see if there's anything we missed. We might just be evolving as a Pack, you know with Leah phasing and me imprinting on you instead of a girl from the rez." I stiffened and he soothingly rubbed my back until I relaxed again. "That threw his whole genetics theory out the window." He chuckled and I smiled. Even though we were both happy to be together, imprinting was not something that we liked. We had seen what damage it caused to others around the imprinted, especially if there was another heart involved. We had seen how little choice it gave to those it affected, imprinter or imprinted. Even now, although I would always love Edward, I found him becoming more and more a distant memory and him having a fond place in my heart, but nothing deeper. And that had been someone I had been willing to give up my soul for (although I still didn't believe him on that one argument we always had). Now, Jacob encompassed my heart. For both of us, to each other, we were a sure thing. More so than when I had made the decision to leave the Cullen household that day and flee in Jacob's arms. More so than when he had claimed me as his that first night. Imprinting was a force, a powerful force.

Jacob was a master at finding loopholes in any situation, he had proven that with Sam back in the day. But we both knew had he imprinted on someone else, it would have been a near impossible situation to try to cheat. Imprinting was a very strong tide, difficult to resist. I was never one to believe in magic but then again, I was never one to believe in monsters, either. And look how that turned out.

So, anything that flew in the face of imprinting, we were more than ecstatic to hear. We might have sounded hypocritical to some (as Sam had pointed out a few weeks ago) but we knew what was right. The imprinting only solidified what we already knew. We were meant to be and we were right, whole, complete together.

I felt Jake tense further and sigh. "He thinks it might be a good idea if...I stayed away for a while."

In a flash, I was up on my feet, not even realizing the towel had fallen to the floor. I glared down at him. "Not an option."

Jake picked the towel up and wrapped me in it before grasping my upper arms gently, rubbing the skin with his thumbs comfortingly.

"Bells, listen-"

"No, Jacob, you listen. I understand Sam gives you orders and you have to follow them but I am not allowing this. I'm not just your imprint, I'm your girlfriend. I have a relationship, with you. Sam does not call the shots in my relationship, _I_ do!"

Jake glanced towards the door as did I. I had gotten a little loud but I was adamant. No way was Sam doing this to us again. Not now.

I went to say something when Jake held a finger up. When it was clear, he turned to me and cupped my chin softly.

"We both do."

"Jacob, I'm not doing this again. Okay? I can't. It was hard enough the first time. I know I'm being ridiculous...and irrational and...overbearing, but I can't help it. I don't understand it but I _cannot_ be without you right now."

I hadn't even realized I was crying until Jake was wiping my cheeks.

"Shhh." He bent down and kissed me. "It's okay. Shh, it'll be okay. Look at me, honey."

I wiped my eyes for the fourth time in a matter of seconds and brought them up to meet his. He smiled my smile and ran his thumb over my cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But you just said-"

"That's what he thinks is best but that's not what's gonna happen. He had a point, you might be safer since I could barely control myself tonight. But...I _can't_ be away from you, either."

I stared up at him sadly. "Because of the imprint?"

He stared back at me. "Because of _you_." I lowered my eyes to his chest and closed them. I felt him kiss my forehead and then pull me into his arms. "We'll figure this out, honey. In the meantime," I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Just don't go hang out with that Newton kid anywhere, okay?" I could see that humorous glint back in his eyes. Normally, I would have made some witty reply or rolled my eyes but I didn't feel much like doing either. Instead, I pulled him over to the bed, got in, keeping the towel around me and indicated for him to follow. He watched me doubtfully, turning to glance at the door.

"Lock it if you need to, Jake. But...I need you tonight. Until you have to leave."

He glanced back at me and nodded before silently striding to the door and hitting the lock. He came back over and climbed in beside me. I immediately curled up against his broad chest, not caring about the towel anymore, and he wrapped me in his arms. I buried my head in his neck and hugged him close.

As we lay there quietly, neither of us making a sound, I thought back to what he had said about Sam, how much it bothered me. The words were out before I knew I was saying them.

"Don't ever leave me," I whispered before closing my eyes.

I felt warm lips brush my hairline. "I won't _ever_ leave you. I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too, Jake," I mumbled before sleep overtook me.

-F-

The next morning I woke to find myself completely covered by my comforter and Jake gone. I felt his side of the bed and it was cold. I could feel tears working their way into the corners of my eyes.

I shook my head, mentally berating myself for being so ridiculous, and turned onto my side. Apparently my logic was failing because I started to cry. What was wrong with me?

A second later, my door opened and Jake came bounding through, whistling. "Hey beautiful, you're up. I made you some-" He saw me crying and rushed to my side, placing the tray he had brought in with him on the nightstand next to the bed. "Honey, what's wrong? Look at me. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you okay?"

I wiped my eyes and sniffled, trying to put on a brave face for him. "Nothing."

He gave me a look of disbelief. "You're not crying over nothing. What's wrong? Talk to me."

With the way he was watching me, with such concern, I couldn't hold it in anymore and the dam broke. Literally. "I thought you left," I sobbed.

He sighed and pulled me into his lap. I noticed I had a pair of my sleep shorts on, Jake obviously having dressed me while I was asleep. No top, though. Typical Jake.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm being stupid, I'm sorry."

He ignored the blubbering mess I was and kissed my forehead, squeezing me in reassurance. "No, you're not. Come here." He rubbed my back slowly as I let it all out against his neck, rocking me gently.

He waited until my sobs were nothing more than tired attempts for breath, my tears were nothing more than this weird wet spot connecting my skin to his. "Feel better?"

I took in a ragged breath. "N-No."

"Yeah, you do. And you know what you need, Bells?"

I pulled away to gaze up at him, sniffling. "What?"

He grinned. "Some of the breakfast I made for you. It's a Black Special." I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, he looked so eager for me to try it, excited like a little kid.

I wiped my cheeks and offered up a tiny smile of my own. "Okay."

He grinned wider. "Attagirl." He turned towards the tray and picked it up, holding it between us. Surprisingly, it looked actually...appetizing and...edible.

He must have seen the shock in my expression because his grin turned into a cocky smirk. "Yes, Bells, I can cook, believe it or not. Billy needs help in the kitchen sometimes." I bit my lip and smiled again. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before picking up the fork and cutting the eggs up into bite size pieces.

I watched him in amusement. "Jake, I think I can handle a couple of eggs. It's not like I'm going to choke on them or something."

He shrugged, the smirk still on his face, and continued what he was doing. "Yeah, you probably would, knowing you. But that's not why I'm doing it."

I glared at him as he maneuvered a piece onto the fork and held it up teasingly in front of me with a sparkle in his eyes. "Open wide."

I crossed my arms. "Jacob, I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself."

He cocked his head at me adorably. "Humor me."

I didn't know what he was up to or what the point of it was but I couldn't say no to that face. But I didn't quite say yes, either. I parted my lips slightly and he gently inserted the fork, depositing the food into my mouth. I chewed and he watched me in satisfaction. I swallowed and he arched his brows expectantly. "Well?"

I nodded. "It's good."

"Yeah?"

I nearly melted at his expression. He was containing his excitement and seemed happy that he had pleased me, almost like a little child. I smiled warmly. "Yeah."

He grinned happily and picked up another piece, holding it out for me. I accepted it and began to chew when he dropped the fork to the plate, making it clank loudly, clasped me by the back of the neck and pulled me towards him. He kissed me and my yells were muffled when I felt his tongue inside my mouth. I tried to push him back but to no avail. His tongue did a sweep against mine and then he released me, smiling.

He was chewing something. "Yeah, you're right, it is good. Huh." I noticed the egg I had been savoring before I was attacked was now gone.

My face heated up and I was stuttering in my shock. "Jake, wha-I can't-I-you-do you know how gross that is?"

He shrugged indifferently. "You said it was good. I wanted to see how good." He swallowed and then licked his lips. "And mixed in with you, it was _real _good." I saw his eyes darken and then _that_ look as he watched me.

I blushed again, but this time it was a blush of a different kind. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Do you know when you blush," He leaned forward and brushed my hair over my right shoulder, baring my skin. "That it travels down your neck to your chest?" His eyes followed the same route as he said the words and when he reached the last part, he started breathing heavily.

Before I could respond, before I knew what had happened, the tray had been moved back to my nightstand and I was flat on my back with Jake on top of me, kissing underneath my ear.

"God, you are so beautiful." I smiled and closed my eyes, offering my neck freely to him. Whenever he said it, I felt beautiful. I never had before, especially not with Edward, no matter how many times he had said it, but with Jake I always did. I knew he would never look at someone else the way he looked at me.

I bit my lip when I felt his teeth scrape my skin gently before soothing it with his tongue. I wrapped my body around him, urging him on in his ministrations until a thought suddenly hit me. I opened my eyes and sure enough the door was open. Usually, I would have jumped ten feet in the air but Jake had a hold on me and not just literally.

"Mmm, Jake, what about Charlie?"

"Gone. Went to work already." That knowledge had never thrilled me more than it did right now.

I started to place kisses to his shoulder, moving upward.

"You patrolled last night and came back to me?"

He drew back, cupping my cheek with his right hand, staring at me seriously. "I always come back to you, honey. Always." He said it so earnestly I surged forward and kissed him deeply, pulling him back down to me.

Breakfast could wait. I needed to satisfy my hunger for something else first.

-F-

I walked Jake to the door, holding his left hand in both of mine. He turned and I smiled contentedly at him. He smiled himself before taking me into his arms, into one of his infamous bear hugs.

"What time do you have to be at work again?"

"T-Twelve. Jake, I can't-breathe."

He released me and ran his hands down my arms to my own. "Sorry."

I shrugged and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. "That's okay."

He put his forehead up against mine. "I'll try to stop by and see you."

"Jake, don't worry about me. I'll be okay. Concentrate on school. You're already running late." I kissed his nose affectionately.

"I'll stop by after then." He watched me sadly. "You sure you'll be okay?"

I gave him the best smile I could to reflect the happiness and calm I felt inside. Because of him. "I will. I promise, I'll be better today. I won't be sad because you're not there. I'll be strong."

He smiled again and rubbed his nose along mine. "That's my girl." He kissed me again, making me heady, and then kissed my forehead before reluctantly turning back towards the door.

"I'll be there right after school." His smile turned into a smirk. "Maybe we can make out in the stock room like last time."

My blush reappeared in full force and he laughed, winking at me conspiratorially. We had certainly moved past the making out stage in that stock room and had nearly been caught. I had been mortified when Mrs. Newton had come into the store earlier than expected and had hurried to the back, barely giving me time to make myself presentable or smooth down my hair. Jake had found it amusing. Like always.

I glowered at him. "Have a good day, Jacob."

He laughed again and opened the door to leave. I smiled when he turned his head. I loved that boy.

He froze, his back stiffening and making my smile drop. What was wrong?

He swung around to face me and I could see something unreadable in his eyes. It was making me uncomfortable. I did not envy that look on his young face.

I rushed right over and grabbed his arm. "Jacob, what's wrong?" I tried to peek around him. Was there a vampire in my yard? Mike Newton? What?

He gripped my upper arms and stared down at me.

"Jake, what-"

"Shh!"

I shut my mouth instantly. While his eyes were focused on mine, I could tell he was not really looking at me. He seemed to be...listening for something. Although, I had no idea what.

Sometimes I wished I had his heightened senses. And right now was one of those times.

He must have heard what he was searching for because I felt him tense against me further. He released me and got down to his knees, placing his hands on my hips, and pulled me close, resting his ear below my bellybutton.

I was confused to say the least. Thinking maybe he needed reassurance, I laid my arms around him and held him closer to me.

He stayed like that for a minute and each second, I felt him tense more and more. And the more I felt him unwilling to relax in my embrace, the more I tried to comfort him. I threaded my fingers into his hair and stroked, hoping it would work. It didn't.

He eventually rose to his feet, not meeting my eyes. I could see all the color drained from his face. I started to tremble slightly. He was really scaring me. Seeing that fear on my Jacob's face made me want to take him in my arms and never let go, protecting him from whatever was hurting him at the moment.

He finally lifted his eyes to mine and I nearly gasped. There was pain in those dark depths. I didn't understand it.

"Bells," he croaked out.

My eyes started to tear up at the broken sound of his voice. What had changed so drastically within seconds? We were happy, nothing could bring us down and then Jake was in pain, looking devastated and broken. What had happened that could make him do a complete 180 in such a short amount of time? What unseen force was causing my Jacob pain like this?

"I'm gonna call Sue. She needs to...see you."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Why, Jake?"

He laid his burning palm against my cheek. "She needs to...make sure..."

My eyes widened with understanding. "Jacob, upstairs...I'm not hurt. I'm okay. You controlled yourself. We're fine." I pulled his t-shirt that I was wearing up to right underneath my ribs, taking his hand and placing it there. "See?" I cupped his cheek soothingly. "No broken bones. No bruising. No pain." His eyes dropped to his hand on my skin. "I'm okay," I whispered.

He glanced up at me, back to his hand and then down to my stomach where his head had been at earlier. He removed his hand, pulling the shirt down slowly and then kissed my forehead.

"Get dressed. I'm taking you to see Sue."

"But Jake, I told you, I'm-"

He sighed. "Bells, just do it please. For me."

I watched him, uncertain how to proceed or what to think. I had just told him I was fine. He should know. He had been the picture of perfect control before, something he got better with each and every time. That first night had been the only one to leave me with any reminders. So, what was he going on about now? Better yet, why couldn't he just talk to me?

I crossed my arms and stared him down.

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

Annoyance with me was plain as day in the expression he wore now. "Bella, can you please just do what I'm asking you to? With how things have been going lately, I don't want to upset you if I don't have to. I'd rather Sue take a look at you and confirm it before I tell you."

I didn't know what I was angrier at, him playing the overprotective role obsessively as much as someone else had or that he had just insinuated I had been trouble to him these last few weeks. I glared and scoffed, stomping up the stairs.

"I love how when I was with Edward, all I kept hearing was how he was so controlling, so overprotective, never being honest with me, never letting me think for myself or make my own decisions, always keeping things from me and how you were so much better. And yet here you are, not telling me what I so obviously need to know since it concerns me. And why? Because you think it might upset me? Or is it really because you think I'll be a crying mess again and you'll have to deal with it, _again_? I must be the worst imprint in history. God, you must hate having to deal with me. I'm such a burden, such an inconvenience for you. I bet you wish you never imprinted on me. Your life would be so much better if you imprinted on Leah or some other girl from the reservation. Why me? I'm the vampire girl, remember? I bet you hate that, don't you? I don't even-"

He whirled me around once I reached my room and glared down at me. I cringed. I hadn't seen him this angry. Not since...Edward.

"Don't ever say that."

I knew now was not the time to push him. I knew it as I watched him, his jaw clenched tightly as he talked. But, I was already too far gone in my own anger with him. "What? Vampire girl?"

"No. That I wish I had never imprinted on you."

"Why?" I spat back. "It's true, isn't it? Wouldn't your life be so much better if you didn't have to deal with me? With clumsy, overemotional, weak and fragile Bella Swan?"

His eyes grew darker. I _was_ pushing him and I needed to stop. "My life would _not_ be much better without you. You _are_ my life. It's nothing without you."

Still, I could not keep my tongue in check. It was as if it had a mind of its own.

"Oh, please. We both know it's the imprint making you say that."

He stepped closer until our noses were nearly touching, us glaring at each other. "Bella, the imprint has never made me say anything I didn't mean. It does _not_ control me. Nothing does. Not the imprint, not Sam and certainly not _you_. I make my own decisions. My control is my own. I am the Alpha and I submit to _no one_."

His voice changed slightly, reaching a deeper level if possible when he said that. His eyes were what finally made me back off. They were dark but there was a strange light behind them. It took me a moment to understand this was not my Jacob I was talking to but the wolf inside him. Somehow he had surfaced without the necessary physical transformation. I had never seen this before and truthfully, it scared me. Some small part of Jacob had always been present, even when I had seen him in wolf form, and here he was not. I was frightened at what my petulance had awakened.

I swallowed quietly, though I'm sure he heard it, and gave in. Although, my glare had not softened one bit. "Fine." I took a deep breath and stuck out my chin. I was full of fear and I was sure he could tell with his senses but something instinctively told me not to show it. "I would prefer it if Sue came here instead."

He studied me, his eyes darting back and forth between my expression and my eyes.

"Done. Get dressed." He left the room, going back downstairs and my knees wobbled, collapsing me to the floor. I prayed he hadn't heard or would ignore it if he had. I didn't want to see that again. Not when he-it was so mad at me. I had never felt unsafe with Jacob. Ever. But just then, I had never been more frightened of his wolf side.

Tears started to fall and I covered my face with my hands. I didn't understand what was happening. I didn't understand the change in Jacob in response to my differing emotions as of late. I didn't understand why my scent was so thick and it bothered him so much. I didn't understand why I was acting the way I was. I didn't understand my sudden obsessive need for Jacob to be near. I thought maybe it was adjustment to the imprint for us at first but after speaking with Emily, she and Sam had never experienced anything like it, which left me feeling embarrassed and...abnormal. Something I had felt for most of my life. I just didn't understand anything.

I didn't have too long to mull over it, though. I soon felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Bells."

I dropped my hands and slowly lifted my head to see him squatting down beside me.

He was in pain still, worse now if it was possible. But he was there. My Jacob.

His eyes tightened and he wiped away the tears with his thumb. He sighed sadly. "I'm sorry. I don't know how that...happened. I just got mad, so mad that you would think that and before I knew it...I wasn't me." He stroked my cheek gently with the backs of his fingers. "I'm sorry."

I sniffled and nodded. "I am, too. I shouldn't have said those things." I pulled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees, laying my head down against them. "I'm just so worried," I cried, feeling more tears escape. "I don't know what's going on. I don't know what happened last night or even in the past week. I don't understand any of it." I sniffled again.

I felt him pick me up and then sit down on the bed with me in his lap. I heard him sigh again. "I think I know what's going on, Bells."

My head snapped up and I stared at him in shock. "You do?"

He stroked my hair tenderly between his fingertips, nodding. "When I was downstairs...I heard it. I hear it now."

My eyes widened. "Hear what?"

He moved his hand down and placed it against my stomach before staring at me meaningfully.

"Another heartbeat."

I inhaled sharply. He watched me, willing me to understand. "That's not...possible."

He didn't say anything, just pulled me to him so he could press his forehead against the side of my head to reassure me.

"Jake, we've..." My brain was whirling so fast I had a hard time keeping up. "We've always..."

"Not the first time," he whispered.

My blood ran cold. _Oh my God._

"Breathe, honey."

I let out a ragged breath and struggled to pull more air in, shaking my head. Jake's hands gripped my face and he made me look at him. "Bella. Listen to me. Breathe." I couldn't listen. Now I understood what I had seen in his eyes downstairs. Pure, unadulterated fear._ I wasn't pregnant. There was no way. I was too young. My God. Jake...and Charlie-oh God, Charlie was going to kill Jake and then me. Oh my God._

"Bella!"

My chest felt like it was collapsing into me. I couldn't breathe. Before I knew it, my eyes rolled back and the last thing I saw was black.


	4. Flashback 1: Running

**A/N: Just a reminder, this was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information or be a little bit out of character for Bella, well, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with it, anyway. =)**

**This is a flashback to the day of the wedding when Bella asked Jacob to run with her. I got the idea for the location they go to through the link for lodgings in La Push itself. That's how I described the room. I'll link it on my profile so you can see it. ;-)**

**Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement and support. I can't thank you enough. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

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><p><em><strong>Running:<strong>_

Jacob had lowered me to my feet and I turned around to face him fully.

He had his hand on his arm, steadying me, and stared right back at me.

"You okay?" He whispered.

I nodded. I pressed myself up against his chest, feeling his arms enveloping me.

"You sure?" He whispered against my hairline.

I nodded again and laid my head right above his heart. I felt him softly kiss my forehead.

I knew I would regret the rashness of my actions later but right now, I couldn't think about it. I couldn't think about how hurt Edward must be, how humiliated he was in explaining to Carlisle and my father what happened. My father! Oh my God. And Renee! I shut my eyes tightly, willing those thoughts out of my head for now.

"Jacob?"

I felt him take a deep breath and hold it.

"Yeah, Bells?"

I drew back to look at his face. I could tell he was scared that I was about to change my mind. Again. How did I not see before how all of my decisions affected him so? I knew I had hurt him but never to this magnitude. I felt pain swelling in my chest to mirror exactly what I saw in his eyes. If only I could undo every bad thing I had ever done to him.

"Can you..." I wasn't quite sure how to ask this without it sounding like I was afraid it was going to. I lowered my eyes and bit my lip nervously. "Can we go somewhere, just the two of us, where they won't find us?"

He cupped my chin lightly and brought my eyes up to meet his. "What do you mean, Bells?"

I could feel my cheeks start to flush as his gaze penetrated mine, showing me that he had indeed misunderstood my meaning, just like I didn't want him to. I loved him but everything was happening so fast. I was not ready for anything even close to that yet. Not for a while. And if we did...do... that, I wanted it to be something we would both remember fondly, not tinged with regret for me for rushing it and not for him to always wonder if I indeed regretted it. That wasn't fair to him. Not after everything I had already put him through. And after preparing myself for so long to take that step with Edward, there was no way I was prepared to take it with Jacob.

"I just...want to get away for a while. Where no one can find us or will try to. I just...I need some...rest. I don't...want to think about anything tonight. I just...need some time...before I deal with everything."

I watched him pleadingly and he seemed to get my meaning. His breath came out in a large whoosh of relief and he smiled _his_ smile, putting me at ease instantly.

"Sure thing, Bells. We can get a cabin. Do you...want to head to my house and...change first?" His hand gestured towards the wedding dress I had forgotten I was wearing. I shook my head. I needed to get away. Now.

He nodded and leaned down, picking me up in his arms. He started a brisk walk, heading in a direction that I had never gone in before on the reservation. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, sighing contentedly.

"Bells, what about Charlie? Don't you want to call him and let him know you're alright?"

I winced. I was in no rush to be met with the interrogations of Chief Swan, trying to figure out why I had run away _after_ I had gotten married, without a word to anyone, especially him. No doubt Renee had probably already cried to him a time or two, worried out of her mind but also devastated that I would leave without telling her. That I had not given her any hint of my supposed unhappiness.

I opened my eyes and pressed my hand against his heart, the rhythm under my palm soothing me enough to answer and chase all these thoughts away.

"Well, I'm sure..." I winced again at the thought of _his_ name. God, how I had hurt him. He deserved someone much better than me. He deserved someone as beautiful and a goddess incarnate like Tanya. I did not deserve him and never really did. I didn't even deserve Jacob. Something I would make sure to stress in the near future so he didn't waste his time with me. He deserved his own goddess and that goddess was not me. I was far from perfect, this afternoon's events proving that fact. And it seemed fate agreed with me, since he had not imprinted on me like he had hoped. I swallowed quietly although I was sure he could hear it. "_They_ told him I was with you. He'll know I'm safe. I'm sure he's over the moon about it." And Charlie probably was to some extent. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he had even gloated in front of Edward when he found out. My thoughts went back to my husband. _Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry..._

I turned my face into Jacob's chest, almost as if to shield me from the images that then popped into my head of Edward's face, the pure agony burning in his golden (although I was sure they were near black at that point) eyes.

Within minutes it seemed, Jacob had reached his destination, talked to the owner and gotten us a cabin for the night. I waited outside, thankful no one else seemed to be around to see me with my hair all disheveled, my make-up running and my wedding dress in disarray. I must have been one scary sight. Bad enough that Jake had to see it.

He came back out, smiling, with key in hand, took mine and walked us to the cabin we were going to spend the night in. I had to wonder. How had he gotten us a cabin with no money? I realized he might know the owners but that was a huge free giveaway for someone his age. He seemed to know his way around pretty well and the possibilities began to prey on my mind. Was it possible my Jacob really wasn't my Jacob anymore? I shook my head at the thought, trying to clear it of such scenarios that made me nauseous as they played over and over again in my brain.

We headed up the steps and he unlocked the door. I stepped inside first and he followed me.

It was cozy, warm, comfortable to say the least. The bed sat right in the corner, next to the ladder that appeared to lead up to a loft above where I could just see two beds peeking out. On the other side of the ladder, there was a small incomplete kitchenette. On our immediate left, there was a small table with chairs. Wooden paneling surrounded us. I ran my fingertips gently over the back of the chair closest to me.

I heard the door close behind me and it made me jump. I turned to see Jacob's eyes glued to the ground and a little bit of a darker color settling in his cheeks.

"Um, so," He cleared his throat quietly. "Michael said it's yours for the next week. There's a hot tub out back that he put in here just for this unit. It's actually pretty cool." His eyes lifted to mine and he had a boyish grin on his face. Again, I sadly wondered just where his knowledge of this place had come from.

When I didn't return his smile, he dropped his eyes and cleared his throat again. "So, um, if you want, I can sleep upstairs, or outside, or even head home and come back tomorrow, if...you know...you want to be alone."

I stepped forward and laid my hand on his cheek, urging him to look at me. He did and I smiled gently. "I don't want to be alone."

He bit his lip and nodded. "Okay. I'll take one of the beds upstairs." Before I could respond, he started to chatter nervously. "Or I could just phase and sleep outside. I don't get cold. Well, you knew that already. But, I can sleep just inside the trees that way nobody'll see me but I'll be around in case you need me and-"

I silenced him with my fingertips. "Upstairs is fine."

He nodded again and I removed my hand. I glanced around the room again. I heard him clear his throat a third time and his voice was back to the confident Jacob I knew.

"What are you going to change into tonight? You don't have anything with you."

I shrugged indifferently. "Not really sure." I honestly hadn't gotten that far. Spontaneity did not suit me apparently.

He stared at me for a minute and then nodded. "I'll call Emily. She'll have something you can borrow."

He went to leave when I stopped him. "No, don't...do that." His brows arched questioningly. "It's just..." I bit my lip. "I don't want her to go out of her way and..." I took a deep breath. "I just don't...feel like seeing anyone right now." I watched him fearfully, afraid that that had come out wrong and not the way I had intended. I just couldn't face anyone right now, even someone as sweet and unassuming as Emily.

He nodded in understanding. "Sure, sure. I'll run to her place quick, how about that? This way nobody comes here and you'll still have clothes? Good?" I smiled and nodded in response, letting out a breath of relief. "Thank you."

He grinned. "No problem. I'll be right back."

He turned to leave once more when again I stopped him, this time with my hand on his arm.

"Jake?"

He faced me, the amusement on his expression abounds. "Yeah, Bells?"

"Will you do me a favor?" I could feel my cheeks heating up at the prospect of what I was about to ask him.

He waited patiently.

"Will you," I lifted my hair and turned around. "Unbutton me, please? I want to take a shower but I can't get out of this dress alone." I heard a sharp intake of breath and my face was on fire. I sincerely hoped he didn't think what I was afraid he was thinking right now. I really just wanted to take a shower and even though this dress would not be a keepsake for me, I had no desire to rip it just to be free of the garment.

I waited what seemed like an eternity before I felt his fingers fumbling with the top pearl button. He quickly maneuvered them out of their holes and before I knew it, my dress was unbuttoned halfway down my back. His warm fingertips brushed against my skin, making me gasp. The heat was scorching in that sensitive area he had never touched before. His ministrations stopped and I held my breath, afraid I had given him the wrong idea.

The pad of his index finger glided over the back of my strapless bra that had been exposed. It then skirted the edge, feeling the skin bordering it. Back and forth. Back and forth. I began wondering just what he would do and I surprised myself by what I found I was hoping he actually would do. It almost seemed as if all my thoughts and worries from before had mysteriously vanished, been burned from me from the fire of his touch.

But I was wrong and slightly disappointed when I felt his fingers continue their work. Not a minute later, the last button had been undone. And then the heat was gone. I held my dress tightly to me and whirled around, my cheeks still aflame.

His eyes were darker than normal and I noticed his breathing had increased. I had to wonder, if his touch was like a flame that burned throughout my body to me, how would my touch be to him? Before I had a chance to test this theory, he cast his eyes down and opened the door.

"I'll be back in a little while. Anything you might need besides clothes?"

I took a step forward. "Jake..."

He didn't look up. "Food. You got it. See you in a bit." He hurried out the door, practically slamming it behind him.

I stared at the door, frowning. Had I done something wrong? Why was he running from me as if I had the Plague? Was I so hideous in my mascara stained face and rat's nest hair and thin and sickly pale body that he couldn't stand the idea of holding me again, kissing me, or anything? The thought made my eyes start to water but I bit my lip and forced the tears back.

No. I was just being oversensitive and irrational. Jake probably left because he didn't want either of us to make a mistake based solely on our hormones and insane attraction to one another. That's all.

I took a deep breath and marched towards the end of the cabin in search of the bathroom.


	5. Part 4

**A/N: Just a reminder, this was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information or be a little bit out of character for Bella, well, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with it, anyway. =)**

**The hand tapping scene was inspired by a scene in the book "Where the Heart Is" by Billie Letts, when Novalee asks Willy Jack if he can feel the heartbeat of the baby inside. Definitely check that book out if you get a chance. =)**

**Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement and support. I can't thank you enough. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

* * *

><p>I lifted my shirt and turned sideways, studying myself in the mirror for what felt like the thirty-seventh time.<p>

I was _pregnant_. But how?

My cheeks flamed over almost immediately. I knew _how_ but I didn't understand _why_ it was happening now.

I was too young to be a mom. And Jacob...my God, Jacob was only sixteen. He hadn't even graduated high school yet.

I was horrified when Sue had explained to me just exactly how far along I was thanks to the ultrasound she gave me. When I had regained consciousness, Jacob had already put me in the Rabbit and was driving towards the clinic in La Push where Sue worked.

I was, according to Sue's calculations, six weeks pregnant. Which would mean that the night Jacob had taken me to the cabin had been when our baby was conceived. The night he had _claimed_ me, for all intents and purposes.

I felt all the blood drain from my face. My God. _Our_...baby.

I hadn't experienced one bout of morning sickness but ever since I found out, I couldn't keep anything down. Jacob was downstairs making some oatmeal for me. A strange selection, considering my weak stomach, chicken broth or crackers might have been a better choice, but I had the oddest craving for cinnamon raisin oatmeal.

I let my shirt fall back down and sighed before crawling back into bed. I was wearing another of Jake's t-shirts and a fresh pair of sleep shorts. Since we had received the confirmation that I was indeed pregnant, he hadn't left my side.

We hadn't really spoken about it. I knew he was just as scared as I was. Neither of us were ready to be parents. All those times in health class and I had forgotten the most crucial piece of information they had preached at us: don't get caught up in the moment, make sure to be safe. It only takes one time to get pregnant.

And of course, I was no exception to that rule. The proof was sitting right there, below my bellybutton, its little heart beating away.

I lifted the shirt and pressed my hand to where Sue's had been the day before, to see if I could feel the rhythm like I always did Jake's.

Nothing.

I wasn't surprised, though. Sue had informed me that it would be a while before I could feel the baby moving never mind hear its heartbeat on the ultrasound. Truthfully, I wasn't sure whether that was a disappointment or a blessing. She assured me and Jacob both that it appeared my pregnancy was moving along fine, at _human_ speed. There was no cause for alarm.

She had patiently listened as we had explained changes in both of our behavior the last few weeks, Jacob holding my hand and rubbing his thumb soothingly back and forth over my knuckles the entire time. When we were done, she tackled each and every one of our concerns.

My recent mood swings, my emotional ups and downs, my _need_ for him (I blushed cherry tomato red at that one, Jake had fought to suppress his grin but I still saw it and hit his arm accordingly), were due to the change in my hormones and that could very well play into everything. Not to mention all the typical signs were there, except for the morning sickness. Although, I had not had any weird food cravings, my appetite definitely had not increased. Until today that is.

My being pregnant was most likely the reason why my scent was so thick and Jake, having the supernatural senses he did, picked that up but hadn't realized just why it was so overwhelming to him. The other wolves had noticed the heightened scent as well from their very limited exposure to me but did not think anything of it. Sam had been nowhere near that conclusion from what Jacob had told Sue.

So, our secret was indeed safe with her.

For now.

Everything else, Sue couldn't be sure. Jake's control issues, the struggle with the wolf inside him, should not and therefore, _was_ not, related to the pregnancy. She had no answers for us on that front.

I had glanced over to Jake at that point and his eyes were down to the ground, his expression crestfallen. I had squeezed his hand, making him look over at me. I had given him what I hoped had been a reassuring smile. "We'll be okay," I had whispered to him. He had simply nodded and turned to Sue, squeezing my hand back.

I was advised to get in touch with my doctor immediately so I could get everything I needed. Sue stressed she was only a nurse and that she could only give me a limited supply of prenatal vitamins to get started. It had hit me at that precise moment that in my two years in Forks, I had not once gone to see any doctor, except the ones in the ER. They all knew me very well there, of course. Imagine how surprised they would be if I walked in now, a casualty of an accident of a different kind.

I was going to have to find a doctor and fast.

She had given Jacob a look and he had suddenly kissed my forehead, stating he was going to get the car. Then he had left me alone with Sue.

I had been slightly nervous, not sure what to expect. Why would she suddenly want to talk to me alone?

Turned out, I had worried needlessly. She had only wanted to warn me about some symptoms I might be experiencing from the pregnancy that made me grateful she had sent Jacob to fetch the car. I would have never recovered from the humiliation.

Then she had written down her number, her home one, and told me to call her anytime. Jacob had told her my mom was living in Florida and she wanted me to know that should I want to talk, about anything, to give her a call. I thanked her for her kindness, picked up the vitamins from the counter, and left to meet Jake outside.

And now, here I was, a day later, only Jacob and I knowing the secret buried deep within me besides Sue. I had called out sick yesterday and today, telling Mrs. Newton I had another stomach flu. Considering just how much face time the toilet bowl had gotten in the last twenty-four hours, Charlie would definitely back me up on that.

Jacob had stayed, refusing to leave me for a second, even to go on patrol. He had called Sam, asking him to switch the schedule around, informing him that I was very sick. Sam hadn't been happy, especially to learn that Jacob was around me despite his previous warning, but honestly, I didn't really care what Sam liked and what he didn't. Before I could jump on the phone and tell him what to do with his arrogant and superior Alpha attitude, Jacob had told him the decision was final, warned him not to disturb us and slammed down the phone. My mouth had hung open in my shock, not just at the fact that the phone had survived but also at Jacob's assertion. Jacob had never been one to blindly follow orders but I was under the assumption that if Sam commanded it, he had no choice. He had willingly given up the role of Alpha to Sam after all. But, Jake had merely dismissed it, telling me not to worry about it, and cradled me to his chest as he hugged me.

He didn't even bother coming up with an excuse for Charlie. He just called Billy and asked him to handle it. Billy didn't even question it, which should not have surprised me but still did. He just asked if we both were alright and when Jake assured him we were, he consented to call Charlie at the station and think of something to tell him.

It seemed like Jacob was calling all the shots and no one dared question him, not even Charlie. Especially when he noticed Jake's noncompliance with his request to sleep on the couch. Jacob had stated it was too far away from me and flat out refused. But rather than kick Jake out, like I feared he would try, Charlie instead sighed tiredly and demanded we keep the door open when we were in my room. I eagerly agreed, worried if I showed any less amenability to the compromise he had set forth, Charlie might suddenly change his mind and with Jacob refusing to budge, that might pose a bit of a problem.

Jacob was true to his word and indeed stayed close. Sometimes, I found myself glancing down in an attempt to find the cord that must be connecting us but never once did I locate it. He took incredible care of me. I doubt my parents or any doctor could have done better.

He held me most of the time, tenderly kissing my forehead, my nose, or my cheek. He would nuzzle me, the rumble quietly escaping his chest every so often, and rub my back. He made all of my meals for me, making Charlie sigh in relief I was certain, and was there whenever I got sick, holding my hair back and kissing my spine. I could have sworn I heard him whisper "I'm sorry" once or twice, but my attention had been diverted elsewhere at the time. I was mortified but telling him to leave, attempting to push him away, and threatening bodily harm with a crowbar that had been picked out for future purchase were all useless. He stayed, each and every time. Eventually, I just stopped fighting him on it. There was no point, I would never win. And truthfully, I was glad to have someone there. I hated being sick, considering it to be worse than any fever or flu, and Jacob knew that. My gratefulness started to slowly but surely chip away at my humiliation. At least, the crowbar threats had stopped when he helped me.

Whenever I wanted a shower, which was pretty much after every time I had thoroughly worshipped every inch of the porcelain god in front of me, he went with me, unless Charlie was home. And even then, he would sit outside the door. I could feel his anxiety radiating from the spot he was in and it would push me to clean up faster.

If this had been anyone else, I think I would have pushed them out the window by now. I might have masterminded some escape attempt in getting two minutes alone to myself, no matter how futile it might be. But this was Jacob, my Jacob, and I didn't need the imprint to tell me what I already knew, what I already understood. He was trying to be there for me in the best way he knew how. He stayed close to me not only to help and constantly reassure me with his presence, but also for his own comfort. He needed me right now just as much as I needed him. He was terrified. I didn't need to be a mind reader to see that fear I was feeling myself in his eyes.

I had woken up twice the night before to find Jake fast asleep behind me with his hand resting subconsciously on the area the baby was in, cupped over it almost protectively. I wanted to comfort him, tell him everything was going to be okay, but I wasn't so sure myself. I had never been good at lying. And he knew that better than most.

Footsteps coming up the stairs pulled me out of my thoughts.

Jacob came into my room, carrying a tray, smiling warmly at me.

"Okay, cinnamon raisin oatmeal as requested." I sat up and he placed the tray in front of me securely. "Anything you want to drink, Bells?"

"Um, is milk okay?"

He grinned, happy that I appeared to be feeling better. "One big glass of ice cold milk coming right up." He leaned down and pecked me on the lips before hurrying downstairs.

I picked up the spoon and scooped some oatmeal into my mouth. I chewed cautiously and then gently swallowed.

So far so good.

I repeated the action.

Nothing.

I did it again and this time, I started to feel a painful upheaval in my stomach. I put the spoon down and grabbed my abdomen, closing my eyes.

_Please, please. Your daddy just made this for me, let me eat it. I don't want to him to think I don't like it._

My eyes snapped open. Now I was talking to it and calling Jake its daddy. _Oh God!_

That final thought had me jumping out of my bed and rushing for the bathroom, my hand now over my mouth. I just barely made it in time, falling to my knees and once again, having face to face contact with my porcelain BFF. I got sick one more time on account of that ridiculous analogy.

I felt a warm hand cover mine and take hold of my hair while another warm hand started to tenderly rub my back.

I gripped the bowl in front of me tightly as I gave it everything I had to give and more. I hated this.

When I was finished, I hit the flush handle and took the proffered tissue from Jake and pressed it to my mouth before hanging my head again.

"I'm dying," I croaked out.

He placed a soft kiss to my shoulder. "No, you're not."

"I feel like I am." I rested my clammy forehead in my hand.

He continued to trail kisses down my back. "I'm sorry." His agonized whisper made me shut my eyes tightly. I didn't want him to feel responsible, that he had to keep apologizing for something that was out of our control. We were in this together. This was not something he had done to me, intentionally.

I reached my right hand back, finding his arm and squeezing. "Stop apologizing. This isn't anyone's fault. I'm just complaining."

He sighed sadly against my shoulder. "I just wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I hate seeing you like this."

I grimaced as I thought of the visual horror I must be at the moment. "Yeah, I don't blame you there."

This time, he sighed in annoyance. "Not what I meant." He then kissed the back of my head. "It kills me to see you so sick, Bells. I wish I could switch places with you or something."

I chuckled darkly. "Yeah. I wish you could, too."

I felt his lips caressing the skin at the back of my neck and I let out a small sigh.

I lifted my head and slowly attempted to get to my feet. "Ugh, I need to take a shower. _Again_."

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and buried his face into my neck. "Honey, why don't you get some rest first? You can barely stand. Come on, let's get you back into bed."

I resisted his moving me and placed my hand on the edge of the counter to steady myself.

"Jake..."

But he wasn't having it. "You should rest. And then try to eat something a little later when you feel better."

I snorted. "Why? So I can get sick all over again?"

His face fell and I immediately felt horrible. Here he was, trying to take care of me, and I was being as nasty and vile as I felt physically.

I turned around and burrowed my head into his chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

His arms tightened around me and he pressed his lips to my forehead, letting them linger there. "No, _I'm_ sorry. If I had just been smarter about this whole thing, if I had just had better control that night, you wouldn't be suffering right now."

I drew back, glaring at his surprised expression. "Jacob Black, this is not your fault. And don't you dare go acting like it is."

He watched me warily before giving a simple nod in submission. I sighed tiredly and placed my forehead against his shoulder. "Besides, we're both responsible for this...situation. It just happened. I don't regret that night and I really hope you don't, either."

He stroked my hair. "I could never regret you, honey," he murmured.

"Good," I breathed out in relief. I pulled away and turned towards the sink to grab my toothbrush. "Just...give me a minute and I'll be right in."

I saw him nod in the mirror and then step out the door, closing it behind him.

After I cleaned up as best I could, I walked back to my room to join him. A quick glance around the room led me to see that he had already cleaned up the offending oatmeal and had remade the bed, pulling back the sheets and covers invitingly. He sat in the rocking chair by my bed, his eyes never leaving me.

I climbed into bed and he got up to make sure I was tucked in nice and tight, almost like a child. I gave him a strange look and undid his work, holding the covers up and out. He got my meaning and laid down beside me, tucking us both in.

"What's with the tucking in? Aren't you going to get hot?"

He shrugged and held me to him. "I don't want you getting cold."

I chuckled. "How can I when I've got my own personal space heater right here, next to me?"

He chuckled himself. "Yeah. That was one hell of a night, wasn't it?"

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Mmhmm."

He turned and looked at me. "Can I do something I didn't get to do that night?"

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "And what would that be?"

He grabbed me and kissed me until I was breathless. Only when I attempted to push him off did he pull away and lay on his back, with his arm underneath his head, a smirk of clear satisfaction on his face.

I rolled my eyes and smirked myself, propping myself up on my elbow so I could look down on him. "Better now?"

He smirked wider and closed his eyes. "Much."

I shook my head and leaned down to kiss him. "I love you, you jerk," I mumbled into his lips. He nipped my top one in response, making me giggle.

It was nice to feel this light and carefree again, if only for a moment.

I sighed contentedly and laid down on top of him. He continued to rub my back soothingly and I closed my eyes.

"I love you, too, honey," I heard him whisper before sleep pulled me under.

-F-

I was running frantically in the woods. My eyes were darting everywhere and I was panicked.

"William!" I screamed. And then I immediately regretted the action. It didn't matter, they could hear me, smell me...it was only a matter of seconds before they took me.

I prayed silently to anyone who would listen to let me find him first.

Jacob's blood was still on my hands, drenching the front of my body, my clothes. It took everything I had in me not to break down and cry, screaming at the sky that I had just begged moments ago for the safety of one member of my family for killing another.

"WILLIAM!"

Still nothing.

I heard a snap of a twig behind me and I whirled to meet my fate.

No one was there.

I started to hyperventilate, wondering if I would be able to see William one more time before my life was ended. And then it hit me. Vampires don't make noise. If they did, they were merely playing with me, a human, their favorite kind of toy.

I forced myself to slow down my breathing for a minute and then continued in my search.

I ran as fast as I could, through the trees, over logs. I was surprisingly agile considering my normal bumbling state. I now had the most important mission of my life, one that was about to end soon, and that probably contributed to my sudden dexterity.

"William! Where are you?"

I moved quicker. And before I knew it, I came upon an open field, a field that was strikingly similar to the meadow Edward had taken me to so long ago. Now, the grass was dead, dried up. There were no flowers or any signs of life ever existing here.

But that wasn't what caught my eye.

There, standing, buck naked, his little body trembling, was my son.

"Oh my God, William!"

I started to rush towards him when he took faltering steps back, his shaking worse.

"No!" He yelled.

I was shocked into silence. Had he just moved away from me? Why?

"William," I cooed, hoping he would relax and let me grab him and get us far away from here. "It's Mommy. Don't you recognize me?"

He let out a small snarl and again, I was caught off guard. Had my little boy just snarled? At _me_?

I glanced quickly behind me. "Honey, it's me. Mommy. Listen, we have to get out of here. The bad monsters are coming. I have to get you somewhere safe. Come here."

He took another step back. "Leeb me awone!"

I could see tears sliding down his little russet cheeks and I didn't miss the pure hatred in his eyes.

I almost wanted to cry. Not only had my Jacob been taken away from me, but now it seemed our son wanted nothing to do with me. My son. I couldn't understand it. Maybe it was the fact that his father's blood was covering every inch of me. I knew he was frightened and most likely in shock, but I had to get him out of here. I could feel the vampires behind me.

I reached out a hand, surging forward one more step. "Sweetheart, I need you to come with me. We'll find someplace safe. That's what Daddy-" I felt a blockage form in my throat but I swallowed against it. "He-would want. They're coming and I have to take you away." I took another step.

That did it. Before I knew it, a small wolf was staring me down, its teeth bared, its color a rich mix of russet and light brown chestnut. I almost felt as if I was staring at a miniaturized version of my Jacob. I gasped at the sight, my hand flying to my mouth.

He snarled again and his ears flattened back against his head. He assumed an attack stance, I had seen it often enough with the Pack, and prepared to lunge. I dropped my hand.

"William...why?" I breathed out.

He growled and slowly turned his head to the left. I followed his gaze and what I saw brought me to my knees.

There in a massive pile were bodies. Bloody, lifeless bodies. But that wasn't what killed me.

The faces, the empty eyes. All of them were people I loved. Each and every one of them. I gasped in horror as I recognized Angela and Ben, Mike, little Claire, Emily, Rachel, Billy..._everyone_ was there. Charlie and Renee laid on top, as if they had been discarded like scraps once drained. I wanted to scream, let the tears flow, but I couldn't. The sound was stuck in my throat and it hurt. The smell of blood and death was overwhelming my senses.

A second pile next to them contained the Pack, some still in wolf form, the others completely naked, as if they had tried to fight off the murderers of their loved ones and lost.

The body a little ways away finally brought forth that scream. It was loud and piercing and turned into an agonizing wail.

There laid Jacob, bare, his eyes raised to the sky. I could see the fresh tear tracks on his cheeks, almost as if he was heartbroken at seeing everyone he ever loved dead before him, knowing William and I were still in danger. The dark russet color of his skin was now a sickly shade of brownish reddish ash. He was dead, I knew it. While his body was bloodied, I was wearing most of his blood. But still, it stabbed into my chest and I felt like I was torn apart. I almost wished for death. If I didn't have to worry about getting our son to safety, I would have gladly laid down and joined him, willingly sacrificing myself to the..._bloodsuckers_ who had taken my reason for living, the love of my life. But I knew, had Jacob survived and I didn't, as pained as he would have been, he would make William his top priority. He would be strong and so would I. For my Jacob and for my son.

It was painstakingly difficult, but I forced my eyes away from the leather wrist band clutched tightly in his hand. At least a part of me was with him. For now.

"William," I choked out. "Please. I have to keep you safe. Come to me, come to Mommy."

The small wolf growled menacingly but he wasn't directing it at me. I heard a whisper of a movement to my right and I turned to see Aro step through the trees, followed by Demetri and Felix. The fear surged through my body, hopelessness taking root. Maybe if I offered up myself as another tasty morsel for them to enjoy, William might have a chance to run.

I snarled dangerously at them, surprising myself, and moved to stand in between them and my son.

"Leave! Now!" I shouted. Thinking I might succeed in garnering their sole attentions for the reaction I wanted, I figured provocation might be best. I just prayed William would flee like I wanted him to.

Aro's eyes flitted towards where the stack of bodies were located. The smile that broke out on his face made me sick to my stomach. He turned his pleased gaze back to me and slowly clapped.

"My, Isabella, I just knew you would make a most fascinating immortal. Look at how busy you have been."

The air rushed out of me. What was he talking about? Had Aro lost his mind since I last saw him? He wasn't making any sense.

"Leave right now!" I hissed.

He shook his head, chuckling. "My dear, we can't leave you all alone, not with your uncontrollable thirst. As much as I can appreciate your appetite and the work you've done here, such energy can surely be put to better uses." His red eyes flashed beyond me. "Is that..." And then his eyes widened excitedly, like a child that had just discovered a new toy.

That was it.

I charged at him, somehow dodging Felix but Demetri caught hold of me. I shoved him back as hard as I could and he went flying. I tried to reach Aro again but Felix had recovered and held me in his vise grip. I still fought against him, snarling like crazy, my teeth bared, and I could sense Felix struggling. But by that time, Demetri had reappeared and helped to keep me restrained.

Aro laughed in amusement. "My, you are precious. I cannot imagine why my dear old friends did not turn you sooner. What a gem you are. A gem that is now within my keeping. Isabella, it seems you have fed more than enough. You must share some with us. That little scrap over there should do." He nodded to Demetri who smiled wickedly and turned to face William, who was snarling, ready to attack.

"No!" I gasped out. "No! If you want someone to drink, take me! Please! Take me! Aro, you want me, take me! Just leave him alone! Please!"

They all laughed and the sounds sent a shiver down my spine. I tried another tactic instead.

"WILLIAM, RUN! RUN, SWEETHEART! DON'T LOOK BACK! RUN! MOMMY WILL BE OKAY! JUST RUN!" I screamed.

The wolf narrowed its eyes at me within the group of vampires who laughed louder at my expense. He growled and took a few steps back but didn't leave like I had told him to.

"RUN! NOW! RUN, WILLIAM!"

He didn't move and I could feel myself starting to panic, especially when the three around me grew silent.

"Dear one," Aro soothed. "I understand your thirst is insatiable and we ourselves would love nothing more than a good chase. But, it is imperative we clean up your little mess here and get you back to Volterra. Once we are there, you will have more than you can drink, I vow to you."

I struggled once again and tried to break free but to no avail. "I will never become one of you! I'll die first!" They laughed once more and a dangerous snarl erupted from me.

"Dear one, hush now. Are you so intoxicated with the amount of blood you have drunk in the last hour that you cannot remember?"

I started to tremble. Why was he insisting that I was now one of them when I wasn't? "I don't know what you're talking about. And I don't care. Just leave him alone and take me. You're hungry, feed on me."

Aro smiled a most frightening smile. "Dearest Isabella, that would be quite impossible. We only feed on humans."

Another shiver went down my spine at his words. What did he mean?

"You don't remember, my dear, do you?" He smiled wider. "Nessa dearest." A young girl stepped out of the trees and I noticed her hair was nearly the same color as Edward's had been. My mouth dropped. She appeared to be a mere four year old. Hadn't Edward told me that Immortal children were against the rules of the vampire world?

She walked right up to Aro and glanced up at him. "Yes, Master?"

Aro smiled indulgently at the child. "Nessa, my dear, would you please show Isabella what she seems to have forgotten?"

She nodded, smiling happily and turned towards me. I felt Felix's and Demetri's grips tighten on me as she came closer. I was frozen in fear. I could hear William growling in the distance as she stepped up and Aro lifted her in his arms, leaning her towards me.

She laid her pale frigid hand on my cheek and suddenly images were dancing in my head that were not my own. I saw myself, no, a stranger. A dangerous stranger who looked like me, a beautiful monster, luring those I loved into the meadow, on whatever pretense was needed for each victim. Some had been knocked unconscious and dragged here to this killing field. And then I saw her attack every one of them, one by one, feeding from them and ignoring their cries of agony, their pleading screams for mercy, calling out my name. I wanted to scream, make it all stop. My father, begging for my mother's life, made my throat burn with the tears I could not seem to shed.

I saw the Pack box her in and attack, enraged and driven by pure fury when they saw their families and imprints lying there dead. She was too fast, too strong and they were blinded by their anger, too emotional, and it worked to her advantage. She took them all out within seconds, killing some, injuring the others so she could feed. The stench of wet dog was unpleasant but she was just so hungry she didn't care. I could feel myself falling...falling deeper into this horror I prayed was just a dream.

The last victim made me cry out in pain.

Jacob.

My Jacob.

I saw him scream as the venom coursed through his body within moments of his being bitten. He had been the last wolf to arrive, just in time to see Sam's neck snapped and the monster begin to feed on Quil, ignoring his loud yelps and whimpers. The two faced off and he tried to disable her, to make sure she couldn't attack, but she was too quick for him. In the end, he had phased back, the venom too excruciating, begging her not to hurt their son and she had laughed as she drained the blood from his body. He had tried to reach her, reason with her, plead with the person she had been, the person he had loved by calling out to his Bells but only snarls and snickers answered him. Tears had rolled down his face. As he took his last breaths, he had reached out and snatched the band off her wrist, holding it in his palm. "Bella," he had breathed out, lifting it to his cheek, letting the leather strings dangle over his pale lips. And then there was nothing, only the evil smile of the monster who had taken his life as his hand dropped lifelessly to the ground.

I wanted to kill her, rip her apart with my bare hands, her being immortal and immune to such a human action not mattering to me. I twisted and turned in the stone cold arms that held me. I was going to kill her and then every last one of them if it was the last thing I ever did.

Somehow, the child kept her hand attached to my cheek, despite my movements, and the next image made me freeze.

The monster turned around, licking her lips and faced the trees. She smiled, satisfied. She was a dead ringer for me, just more exquisitely beautiful, her vampire status obviously agreeing with her. But that wasn't what stopped me. Her eyes were a deep scarlet red, glaringly bright and fresh looking. The blood staining her clothing matched the color perfectly.

The same way my clothes were stained now...

Nessa took her hand away and smiled along with Aro, quite pleased.

I glanced down, wishing my clothes were different or that I had imagined the blood on them, but I hadn't. My eyes flashed to my bare wrist and then over towards where Jacob's body lay, his hand closed around the absent band. The last memory played out on its own. I arched my head back and let out a loud scream when the pseudo-me called to my hiding son in her musical lilt, "William, Mommy's here. Don't be scared."

There was no way I had done this. No. This little child was making it all up. She had a power that created things and then showed them to you in visions. No, they were lying! All lying!

But then I remembered William's reaction to me, how he seemed almost threatened by me. How he had phased, telling me to leave him alone. My three year-old son, phasing!

"No," I gasped.

Aro put Nessa down and he smiled proudly at me. "Yes, my dear one. _You_ did this, Isabella."

I shook my head, refusing to believe him. "No."

Demetri whispered in my ear, "Yes."

I kept shaking my head. "No!"

"Yes," they hissed in unison.

I heard small sobs and turned to see William bent over Jacob, shaking his shoulder, trying to wake him up. "D-Daddy," he cried.

I felt something take me over, almost like a hot flash of rage mixed with pain. I broke free of their arms and flitted over to William, picking him up, ignoring his tremors. If he phased and killed me, I was more than okay with that. I spun on my heel to run with him when the smell of fresh blood invaded my nose. My eyes scanned my son and I found the source of the scent. A small cut sat on his left shoulder. William's cries were worse, his body wanting to trigger the transformation needed to protect himself but his mind not able to, being too young and not understanding what was happening.

I looked into his dark eyes that he had gotten from his father. I could feel the torturous burning in my throat and I tried to ignore it. William was mine and Jacob's son. He looked so much like his father, yet I could see me in him, too. I loved him. He was my own flesh and blood. I had given birth to him. He was the last piece I had of Jacob now.

"Daddy," he sobbed, struggling to get away from me, staring at me fearfully.

My son...

My blood...

Blood...

And just like that I lunged in for the kill.

Chilling screams and wicked laughter tore through me as I felt the rich and thick warm liquid fill my mouth.

I shot up, gasping for air, silently sobbing. My body was shaking uncontrollably. Jacob sat up in a flash and had me in his arms.

"Breathe," he commanded before rocking me and stroking my hair soothingly.

I couldn't listen, I was too busy crying. I held him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck and straddling his lap.

"Shhh, it was just a dream, honey. Just a dream. Shhh. It's okay, you're okay." He rubbed my back, trying his best to calm me down.

I sobbed into his neck. Yes, it was a dream, a horrifying dream, and thank God for that. But that didn't change how terrified it made me of...me.

"Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. You need to breathe." I was having a rather difficult time but eventually, I was able to force myself to listen to him.

"That's it, honey. Just take nice big breaths. And relax. Okay? Relax."

I had so much I wanted to say to him but didn't know how. And I wasn't entirely sure I could yet. Instead, I only said one thing. "C-Charlie?"

He nuzzled the side of my head. "I don't hear him or smell him. So, he's not home yet. Do you want me to call him?"

I shook my head and then drew back quickly. He stared at me sadly and smoothed my hair back from my face. "You're okay," he whispered. "I'm here. You're okay."

Tears streamed down my face and he attempted to wipe them away. I wanted to tell him about the dream, about my sudden fears, but I just couldn't. I did the only thing I could. I lurched forward and kissed him. I needed him at that moment and he knew it.

He broke the kiss, putting our foreheads together. "Bells, we can't. What about the baby?"

"I-I need y-you," I choked out.

His breathing increased when I tried to kiss him again and he pulled away. "I know you do, honey. But, what if we hurt-"

I cut him off with my lips. I didn't want to hear anything right now, except him reinforcing his promise to me, even if it wasn't in words. My hands flew to the button on his shorts. "Please," I begged into his mouth. He groaned in response and kissed me harder. He was giving in.

And just when I thought he was going to give me what I needed from him, he stopped me by grabbing my wrists, gently holding them away from his shorts.

"B-Bells," he panted. "I want to. So bad. But I could...hurt it."

I moved in and kissed his neck. "You won't. I promise. We just have to be careful."

"B-But," he stammered.

I pulled my hands free and gripped his face, making him look at me. "Jacob, I need you. Please." I couldn't help the way my voice broke at the end or the tears that escaped and rolled down my cheeks.

He caught them with his fingers and wiped my cheeks with his palms, studying me. I stared at him pleadingly. He gave a simple nod and leaned in, covering my mouth with his.

-F-

I laid there on my side, watching him. He was facing me on his side, staring right back at me. He continued trailing his fingers up and down my arm in a soothing manner. I kept my hand resting on the spot where his heart was located in his chest. Feeling that steady beating underneath my palm comforted me. It had quickly become something I loved, I cherished, to feel when he and I were together. Since he had given in to me, my hand had taken residence there and hadn't moved since.

It had thrilled me to feel its maintained rhythm climb quickly, pumping fast and furious, pounding against my fingers, and then its slow descent back to its normal beat. I marveled at it, in complete awe, and from now on, whenever he kissed me, whenever he held me against him, I would be placing my hand there just to feel the thumping against my hand. Alive, that's what my Jacob was. Alive and full of life. Life he had given to me. Life that now grew inside of me. Life that I would die to protect, even from myself.

I lifted his free hand and held it to my stomach.

"I wish you could feel him the way I feel you right now," I whispered.

He stroked my hair tenderly. "I don't need to. I can hear it."

I frowned. "I wish I could, too. It's not fair you get to hear him and I don't."

Jake leaned over and kissed me. "Lay back," he whispered into my lips. I did as he instructed and he moved the sheet that had been covering me away. He propped himself up on his elbow and then took my hand and placed it up against my stomach, covering it with his, his fingers facing the opposite direction of mine. And then he was still.

I gazed up at him, wondering what he was doing. His eyes never moved from my stomach and then I felt it. He started to gently tap the top of my hand, setting it to the rhythm he heard coming from the baby.

I moved my hand to various areas of the spot my little one was growing in and Jake moved with me, never stopping the tapping. It was almost like I could feel it myself. And that thought made me smile.

"He's strong, isn't he? Just like you."

Jake stopped and turned a grin on me. "Why do you keep calling it 'he'? You know something I don't, Bells?"

I shrugged, smiling wider and biting my lip. "No. But...it would be nice to have a 'he'. Don't you think?"

He shrugged himself. "I'll just be happy as long as it's okay. As long as _you're_ okay." He stared at me meaningfully and I laid my other hand against his cheek.

"Are _you_ okay?" I asked.

He bit his lip and nodded. "I'm not gonna lie, Bells. I'm scared out of my mind. I don't have a job yet and I barely have any money saved, and that's just from fixing cars up here and there. I can't even get us our own place yet. Hell, Billy never even let me have a dog because he knew I'd never take care of it. I mean, Bells, I've never even held a baby before. But..." He sighed and stared down at me. "I want this. With you. I always have. It's not like I planned but...it's what I want. So, yeah, I'm okay."

He gazed at me expectantly, waiting to hear what my fears were, my thoughts.

I took a deep breath. "I'm scared, too, Jake. Terrified even. Honestly, I never really thought about being a mom. And definitely not this early on. But...I want this. I admit, I wasn't sure in the beginning but now, I..." I chewed my lip, trying to keep the tears from flowing at the memory of the horrific nightmare I had had. Despite the frightening turn of events in the dream, one feeling stood out and buried itself deep within my heart. The boy in the dream, although he had feared me and rightfully so, had been mine. I had felt that strange connection to him, knowing that he was indeed mine and Jake's. I wanted that and badly. Although, I was scared out of my wits and like Jake, I had never held a baby, I wanted to try. I wanted that little boy in the dream, just nothing else that had surrounded him in it. "I want this. I want this with you. I want him. I'm okay with it. With it all."

The relief that played out in his expression at my words surprised me. Had he really thought that I wouldn't? He must have seen it in my face because he quickly tried to reassure me.

"It's not that, Bells. I'm just happy that you want it, too. With me, I mean. That you're okay with everything. That's all. I just don't want you to be unhappy."

I rolled my eyes. "Jacob, you're an idiot. Of course, I want it with you. This baby is you and me. Not anyone else's. Right?"

He nodded and leaned down to rub his nose along mine, placing the softest kisses on the bridge of it. "Right."

"And don't worry about the money thing, okay? At least, not right now. I still have my college fund and we can use that if we need to. But right now, just focus on finishing school. That's what's most important."

His head snapped up. "Bells, school, the Pack, all of it takes a backseat to you. And to him." He inclined his head towards my stomach.

I rubbed his shoulder, trying to soothe him. "Jake, I'll be fine. _We'll_ be fine. You don't need to worry about us."

He lowered his eyes to the bed. "I'm always gonna worry, Bells. You're my life and now, so is he."

I grabbed Jake's hand and intertwined our fingers before laying them down on top of my abdomen. I leaned up and kissed him. "We'll be okay," I whispered. "_All_ of us."

He looked at me doubtfully and I smiled reassuringly. He sighed tiredly and wrapped me in his arms, holding me to him, nuzzling my shoulder. "I love you, Bella," he whispered to me. "I would do anything for you. I love you so much."

I grabbed him and pulled him to me, pressing my lips to his. He groaned into my mouth and I swallowed it deliciously. "I love you, too. Promise me, Jake," I gasped, tugging his bottom lip with my teeth. "School."

"I promise you anything you want, honey. School, the Pack, whatever you want, it's yours. Oh God, I promise," he moaned before kissing me again, filling all my senses completely.

I would have to tell him about the dream and my concerns that needed to be addressed another time. At that precise moment, I wanted nothing more than to be overtaken by him.


	6. Part 5

**A/N: Just a reminder, this was originally written as a one shot so that's why it might seem a bit incomplete and have missing information or be a little bit out of character for Bella, well, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy where I'm going with it, anyway. =)**

**Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement and support. I can't thank you enough. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

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><p>I felt fingers sifting through my hair gently and my eyes slowly opened.<p>

There was Jacob, squatted down next to my head, my room still dark, the open door behind him leading to the only source of light in the hallway, the smell of grease thick and pungent, suffocating me.

I lifted my hand to my mouth and nose, covering them both before the nausea could overwhelm me and send me running. Again.

He watched me sadly. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, honey. You need anything before I do?"

I shook my head, only slightly, any more movement and I would be in the bathroom before him. He nodded and moved the bucket closer to my bed. "Okay. I'll be right back." He then went to my dresser, opened the top drawer and pulled out clothes before walking out the door.

I watched him go, wishing I could go with him but I was too tired and after glancing at my alarm clock, Charlie was due home in the next half hour. I heard the shower kick on and turned onto my back.

Charlie.

I turned onto my side, keeping my back to the door, closing my eyes.

Charlie was not happy.

After my _stomach flu_ passed and Jake and I had resumed our _normal_ lives, he had gotten a part-time job at a garage in La Push. Sam had given the okay once Jake had informed him of my...condition. So, while I was working at Newton's, Jake worked at the garage, after school and on Saturdays. Sundays, he alternated between fixing up cars on the side and spending time with me. I would always drive to his house so he could focus on them and not worry about me so much. I kept telling him to slow down, not to worry, to take a day off. But, he would always remind me that time was going to go fast and we needed all the money we could get. So, I would sit in the garage, watching him as he worked, talking and keeping him company, like we had so many times before. Of course, we ended up not talking a couple of times, making me blush slightly anytime Quil and Embry stopped by and plopped onto the couch. My cheeks burned when they would give me a knowing smirk followed by an apologetic smile from Jake. Sometimes I really hated his wolf side.

Most other times, though, I would end up in his room, laying down in his bed and falling asleep. I was incredibly tired lately. I would be fine, getting more than my fair share of sleep, most of the time, and then suddenly, I would feel zapped and all I wanted to do was nap.

And once where I loved the smell of oil and car grease, now it made me sick every so often so my time spent in the garage was less and less.

Because of this and the busy schedule we were now on, Jacob had started to stay over more and more. I gave him a drawer to store some clothes in so he could change after work and that hadn't escaped Charlie's notice.

The first night, Charlie reiterated his demand about the door being open and scowls and glares were directed at Jake the whole time. The fourth day, I overheard Charlie on the phone talking to Billy.

"Is your boy not allowed at home or something? Did you kick him out?" And then a minute later, "Well, 'cause he's over here all the time. Haven't you noticed that he hasn't been home?" I guessed Charlie didn't get the response he wanted because his reply was a little gruffer. "He's staying in Bella's bed. Her bed, Billy. I would like to know what is so wrong with his own bed in his own home."

I had winced. It looked like mine and Jacob's _secret_ wouldn't be secret that much longer. Only the Pack, Sue, Billy and Rachel knew about my being pregnant.

"Don't tell me not to worry about it. How would you feel if that Paul character started spending the night in Rachel's room?"

And as expected, Charlie's voice rose slightly.

"And you're alright with that?" Charlie had sighed loudly. "I understand she's been to college but that doesn't matter. It's your house, Billy. How can you condone that? She's your daughter. Hell, she's only two years older than Bells."

Charlie had shaken his head. "Well, that may very well be. But that's not how I run things. I would appreciate it if when I ask Jacob to leave, you back me up on it. Whatever you can think of as long as you tell him you need him home. Knowing Bells, she's going to throw a fit."

Oh, Charlie had no idea then of the fit I _was_ going to throw. I understood that it was...uncomfortable for Charlie but Jacob and I were respectful of him and his rules. We never forgot for one second that we were in his house. Everything he asked of us, we did. What more did the man want?

I don't think Charlie had ever seen me so angry. The arguments that he and I had had over Edward were nothing compared to this blow up. Somewhere in there, I was told if I wanted a live-in boyfriend to find a place of my own. And just to spite him, I agreed.

That had made him lose his temper even more, which of course fired up my own temper. He ended up just muttering incoherently, giving me a dismissive wave of his hand and walked into the living room.

I marched to the phone and called Jake at the garage, biting my lip to keep from crying. But before his boss could finish telling me that he had left early, citing a family emergency, a loud knock was at the front door. I quickly thanked the man and hung up, rushing for the door but Charlie beat me to it.

"Jake-"

"Where's Bella?"

Charlie glared at him. "Son, we need to talk."

Jacob edged past him and scanned the room for me, completely grease-covered yet shirtless. He had obviously run straight from work. "In a minute. I gotta see Bells first."

Charlie's mouth dropped but before he could say another word Jake spotted me and hurried towards me, hugging me tight and picking me up in his arms. "Are you alright?" He whispered into my neck.

I closed my eyes and hugged him back. "Of course," I whispered back. "Why do you ask?"

He pulled me in tighter, cutting off my air completely. "You know why."

"Can't-breathe."

He loosened his grip and lowered me to my feet. "Sorry. You sure you're okay?" I nodded and laid my head on his chest. He kissed my hair, wrapped his arm around me, softly rubbing my back as he turned to face Charlie. We had completely forgotten about him. His face was a new shade of purple I had never seen before, scowling at the grease that was now all over me. I held Jake closer and he squeezed me reassuringly.

Charlie had ranted and raved, yelled and roared his displeasure with everything that was happening. Jacob, of course, had worked his magic. He let Charlie vent out all his anger and frustration, not saying a word. And when Charlie was out of breath, then Jake spoke, apologizing left and right.

They worked out a compromise. Jake had to wear a shirt at all times, we were never to have another display like we had earlier. From the way Charlie went on about it, you would have thought we had been having sex in front of him. He also wanted the door open at all times as per usual. Jake could not stay all seven nights. I went to protest but Jake had squeezed my knee, giving me a look that asked me to stay quiet. I glared at him but I did. Charlie breathed easier and gave his consent begrudgingly. Jake had grinned and rubbed my upper arm soothingly, thanking him.

Charlie and I had locked eyes before we both looked away, both still too angry to speak to one another.

Gradually, we did start to talk again, a day or two later, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary, almost as if it had never happened. Charlie tried his best but it was more than evident, he was not happy with the new arrangement.

I felt a warm body slip into bed behind me and wrap me up in their embrace. Jake started to kiss my neck. "I missed you today," he whispered into my skin, making me shiver.

"I missed you, too," I whispered back, turning to kiss him.

He placed his hand on my lower abdomen. "How is he?" I couldn't help but smile. "He's got me eating everything in sight but he's good. He definitely takes after you."

Jake grinned and placed his chin on my upper arm. "That's my boy." Then he frowned. "Hey, what if it's a girl?"

I shrugged, taking his hand and joining it with mine, rubbing my stomach tenderly as I stared down at it. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. I really do feel like it's a boy, though."

He nodded and watched our hands like I was. "They still can't tell yet?" He was frowning again, this time at my stomach, almost as if he was willing the baby to reveal what its sex would be. He was so adorable in this moment. I smiled warmly up at him. "No, honey, still too early."

He turned to arch a brow at me and I laughed. "Oh, shut up," I mumbled into his lips before I kissed him. My hand glided down his smooth back. "Mmm, why did you get dressed again?"

He pressed a soft kiss to my nose. "It's the rules."

I rolled my eyes and wrapped myself around him, hitching my right leg around his waist, pulling him against me. "Rules Schmules. Haven't you heard, Mr. Black? Rules are made to be broken."

He chuckled into my lips. "Why, Miss Swan, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

I nipped at his bottom lip playfully. "No, I'm flat out telling you." And then I moved to his neck.

He let out a contented sigh as I placed butterfly kisses across his skin. "Bells, your dad'll be home soon. I don't want him to hate me even more."

I lifted up and pushed him on his back, climbed on top, running a hand through my hair, and leaned down to kiss him. "He doesn't hate you." I trailed my hands down his chest.

His own hands circled my waist and he chuckled again. "Uh huh. But just to be on the safe side, let's not push him." He sat up and moved me gently to the side, making me whine. He jumped to his feet and headed to the corner of the room. "Come on, Bells. I've got something for you anyway."

He squatted down and dug through the black backpack he had started keeping in the back of the Rabbit. I frowned. "Jake, I don't want you spending your money."

He stood up and headed back over to me, smirking. "Don't get your panties in a twist. I didn't spend anything." I smacked his arm for the panty comment like he knew he would get and accepted the clear CD jewel case he held out to me.

"What is it?" I asked, puzzled. There were no markings on the gold disc that I could see.

"Something I promised you." I glanced up and he winked. "Let me grab a shirt and we'll head downstairs."

I bit my lip and smiled, shaking my head. I turned the case over and over in my hands. I was relieved to see he hadn't spent any money but what on earth could this be?

-F-

He popped the disc into the tray and pushed it in. He made his way over to me on the couch and sat down next to me, drawing me into his arms.

Seconds later, the Warner Bros. logo appeared on the screen and the Harry Potter theme could be heard in the background. I gasped and turned to him, beaming. "You remembered!"

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Yeah and you didn't. Had I known that, I would have _forgotten_ it as well." I slapped his chest, making him laugh again, and pulled him down to me for a kiss.

After about ten minutes, he rolled his eyes and got up. I pouted up at him, not happy about him moving away from me. He smirked down at me and shook his head. "I'm just making popcorn, Bells. Geez. Aren't you hungry?"

I shrugged noncommittally. "Do you want me to pause the movie?"

He grimaced and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Ah, no, no. You just keep watching it. I'll be right back."

I gave him a tiny smile. "Okay." He headed into the kitchen and in true Bella Swan fashion, I paused the movie and switched over to the TV.

"I don't remember hearing anything about car racing in that movie. Or that Vin Diesel was in it." He yelled from the kitchen.

"I know, right? Weird," I yelled back.

"You suck, Bells." I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my wicked giggles. I was sure he heard them regardless.

I flipped through the channels while waiting for him and found a film I had never seen before. It looked like it could possibly be from the eighties from the look of the fashion. I shrugged and laid my head on the arm of the couch, settling in to watch it until Jake came back.

Two characters were sitting and eating in a small restaurant type setting in some city. They were seated at a counter and the waitress in front of them had turned around and was yelling orders to the line cook in the kitchen. They showed the menu board in the back during the shot and that's when it was revealed that they were in a burger joint that boasted to serve the best "coke and burgers around". But that wasn't what caught my attention.

There was one word on the board that I could not stop staring at for the life of me: cheeseburger.

I mouthed the word and it was suddenly the only thought in my head. The meat, cooked perfectly on the outside, sizzling, with a juicy pink center and juices running down...

I jumped up, turning everything off and hurried into the kitchen. Jake turned to narrow his eyes at me in mock annoyance. "Don't worry, Bells. Almost done. Then you can continue to torture me for the next two hours."

I walked past him, hit the 'cancel' button on the microwave and opened the door.

"Hey!"

I ignored him and grabbed the potholder, pulled the bag out and tossed it into the garbage. I laid the potholder on the counter, walked over to a very shocked and confused Jacob and grabbed his hand.

"Come on, we're going out to eat."

I didn't wait to hear a response before I pulled him out of the room.

-F-

"I'm sorry, come again?" The waitress asked, staring at me with what I could only assume was a mix of shock and disgust.

I blushed, slightly embarrassed as I noticed the customers at other tables around us also turn to look, their eyes as wide as the waitress'.

"I would like two cheeseburgers, medium rare. A side of toast, buttered. I would like a plate of fries with gravy. Can you add cheese to that please? And can I get eggs right now?"

Our waitress, her eyes still gaping, nodded. I was relieved. That's why we had stopped here and not gone straight to Sully's.

"Okay, then can I please get three eggs over easy? Oh! And do you guys have cottage cheese?"

The woman, her name Susan as she had introduced herself to us when she gave us the menus, shook her head slowly. "Oh," I lowered my eyes in disappointment before giving her a timid smile. "Okay, can I just get the rest, please? And can I get a glass of orange juice? And a large coke, please?"

Susan never took her eyes off me, kept writing and turned to the next page on her pad before turning to Jake. I saw the table behind her gawking at me and I slunk down in my seat a little more, letting my hair try to hide my face.

Jake squeezed my hand and grinned amiably up at Susan. As it so often did, that smile disarmed the woman I had made so hostile and repulsed with my large order and within seconds, she was smiling, too. I should have expected it but each and every time it still shocked me to see. "I'll have the same if that's okay."

I watched her, waiting for the scowl she had given me, but it never came. Instead, she smiled wider.

"Absolutely," she said in the sweetest voice possible. "Coming right up. Let me get those drinks for you." She kept her eyes on Jake as she snatched the menu out of my hands and accepted his from him. She then made her way to the counter and I was left staring, dumbfounded, after her. Susan. I didn't think I had ever seen her before. She must have been new in town.

I glared in her direction and then turned back to Jake. His eyes weren't on me. Instead, they were narrowed and focused on the people sitting across from us. People that were suddenly very interested in the food on their plates. Jake then glanced over at me, smiling. "Hungry, huh?"

My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I dropped my gaze to our hands. "Sorry," I whispered.

He squeezed my hand again, forcing me to look up at him. "What for? You're hungry, Bells. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It'll be nice to see you actually eat for once." He smiled at me warmly.

I stared at him in confusion. "What are you talking about? I eat. All the time. I _never_ stop eating."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like a bird. Every time I turn around I see you munching on a carrot or celery sticks. You don't even put peanut butter on them first. It's nasty."

I winced and looked down. He lifted my chin and watched me in concern. "What's wrong, Bells? Are you alright?"

I gave him a sheepish grimace. "Yeah, it's just...now I want peanut butter." I pulled my hand out of his and covered my face in shame. He chuckled and rubbed my arm soothingly. "You worry too much, honey. You want me to add that to our order?"

I dropped my hands and said "No!" a little too loudly. Jake laughed as everyone turned to look. I blushed again and slid further down into my seat. "It's not funny," I hissed.

Jake shook his head, grinning. "Bells, I love you, you know that?"

I crossed my arms and glared at him. He smiled wider and turned to face Susan as she brought our drinks. I smiled, watching him, muttering a quick "I love you, too". I saw the smile get bigger. I knew he'd hear me.

-F-

I had my head on Jacob's shoulder and my arms wrapped around his right arm as he drove us back to the house in my truck.

I was mortified. I had eaten every single bite of the meal I ordered and not once did I get sick. As a matter of fact, I felt...satisfied. Full but not overly so.

Susan and the rest in the Coffee Shop had watched me in horror as I ate. Jake had watched me proudly. I had blushed the entire time but could not find the will to stop. I was too hungry and my body demanded fuel.

I had winced at my pacified monstrous appetite as I sat back in my seat. "Wow. If I keep this up, I'm going to gain all that weight in no time."

Jacob chuckled and my eyes snapped to his. "I'm serious, Jake. I can't be eating like this all the time. I'm supposed to eat healthy, that's what the doctor said, you heard her. Come on, fries with cheese _and_ gravy? You should not have let me order that."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that one was a little weird but it tasted good to me."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "_Everything_ tastes good to you. You can eat whatever you want, however much you want and never worry about it."

Jake sat back, resting his elbows behind him over the seat, smirking at me. "Perks of being a werewolf." The people that had been sitting across from us had left earlier, most likely no longer able to stomach my new eating habits, so we were able to speak a little more freely, considering the only other customers were all the way at the other end of the restaurant, seated at the counter.

I scoffed and shook my head, muttering about getting that crowbar already and he had just laughed.

I lifted his hand off my knee and intertwined our fingers, closing my eyes. He kissed the top of my head and I smiled.

"Are you staying tonight?" I whispered.

"I was planning on it, if that's okay."

I hugged his arm tighter. "More than okay." He squeezed my hand and laid his cheek against my hair.

In this moment, everything just felt...perfect. I again wondered how I had ever been crazy enough to not only give this up, but to want to. I couldn't imagine my life without Jacob in it now, without him touching me, kissing me. I couldn't imagine just how repulsed he would be by me at this very moment had I followed the original plan of my life and I had turned into his enemy. A quick flash of an image of me with red eyes and pale rock skin, lunged and ready to attack, facing a growling wolf Jacob, played behind my closed lids. I then remembered my dream and I shuddered. Jake, thinking I was cold, dropped my hand and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in tighter to him to warm me up.

I had never told him about that dream. I hadn't had it again since. Not that version anyway. I still dreamt of my son-_our_ son, in different periods of his childhood and teenage years, phasing, leading the Pack and his father, battling against real vampires, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. But never again was I the aggressor in any scenario. Instead, I was always the concerned, overly anxious, worrying, sometimes grieving, sometimes pleading, but always proud mother. I convinced myself it had just been a dream, my previous fears about when I was to be turned playing out in my head, leftovers that were tormenting my psyche.

But now, as the image of me from that dream returned, I felt chills shoot down my spine. I turned up towards him and held onto his shirt tightly. "Jake, can you pull over for a minute?"

His eyes flashed to mine, full of concern. "Why, honey, are you feeling sick? We're almost home."

"I know but can you pull over? Please?"

He nodded once and immediately pulled onto the side of the road, turning the car off and glancing down at me. "Do you want me to help you outside or do you just want to make a run for it? Or do you want me to open the window and let some air in? Or-" I silenced him with my fingertips and then leaned up, kissing him, before climbing into his lap, facing him, my back at the steering wheel.

I pulled back and cupped his face gently. "Jacob," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed worriedly. "Yeah?" He whispered back.

I stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. "I love you." I slowly placed kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, and then his nose. "I don't think I can ever tell you that enough. But I'll keep saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you. So much, Jacob Black. More than you'll ever know." I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his.

I felt his lips brush over mine lightly before nuzzling my neck and hugging me tightly to him. "Kwopkalawo'li"," he whispered into my hair.

I gasped quietly and my eyes flipped open. I pulled back, my brows arched in surprise. He had never spoken Quileute to me before and I had never heard anything spoken so beautifully. I had always thought Edward's voice had been perfect, the smooth liquid musical voice of an angel's. But anything he said would never compare to what Jake had just spoken. "What does it mean?"

He just smiled before he leaned in and kissed me.

-F-

I opened the door and walked in, Jake right behind me. I could hear the TV turned to some game.

"Hey, Dad," I called as I unzipped my hoodie and Jake took it from me to hang it up. I gave him a grateful smile and headed into the kitchen. Jake wrapped his arms around me from behind and whispered into my ear. "Looks like the movie will have to wait 'till tomorrow. And I have to work late tomorrow so I'll probably miss it. What a shame."

I snorted and opened the refrigerator. "Not a problem. I'll wait and watch it with you this weekend."

Jake let out a small whine and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "Bells..."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're not getting out of it, Jake."

He growled quietly and playfully nipped the juncture where my shoulder met my neck. "You're mean."

"Yep, that's me. A mean girl who wants her boyfriend to watch a movie with her. I should be stopped." I grabbed the plastic jug of water and placed it on the counter before reaching for the cabinet.

"You should," he muttered. I reached my hand back and slapped his head and he just chuckled. Like I said, I really hated his wolf side sometimes. Stupid werewolf strength.

I sighed and turned back to what I was doing. "Why do I keep forgetting to get that crowbar? I passed the hardware store again today. I've got it all picked out and everything." I shook my head and poured myself a glass of water. Jake had drawn back and was gently rubbing my back while I put the jug back in the fridge.

I was about to take my water upstairs with me when I turned to find Charlie, looking rather haggard which took me by surprise, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.

"Dad?"

He didn't look at me. "I saw Dr. Miller's husband today. I ran into him when I was heading into the diner earlier."

My chest felt tight and all the air left my body. My fingers grasped the glass bone-clenchingly tight. Dr. Miller, the same Dr. Rebecca Miller who was seeing me during my pregnancy? The same Dr. Miller I had sworn to absolute secrecy? Jake took the water, placed it down on the counter and took my hand, warming it with his own hand. He squeezed it reassuringly, silently telling me to relax and breathe.

But there was no way I was going to because at that precise moment, Charlie lifted his eyes to mine. "He congratulated me on becoming a grandpa." I tried to swallow but couldn't. I struggled to breathe but also found that I couldn't. I waited for Jake's squeezing my hand again but it never came. I glanced up to find his eyes focused on Charlie's, his expression unreadable. I turned back to find Charlie staring at me helplessly.

"You got something you want to tell me, Bells?"

I finally was able to gulp but the huge lump was still in my throat. Well, so much for doctor-patient confidentiality.


	7. Flashback 2: Wedding Night

**A/N: Thank you for all of your kind words, encouragement and support. I can't thank you enough. =)**

**No graphic lemon here and not even any real lemon, just a drop of citrus but not really. So, if you're not a fan of that stuff, no worries, this is more implied than anything. i tried to stick to SM's canon where she does the old "fade to black" though she probably did it better lol.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea. Stephenie Meyer owns everything else.**

* * *

><p>I stepped out of the shower, drying myself off quickly before wrapping the towel around me. I wiped some of the condensation off the mirror and stared at the girl staring back at me. Would she be what he had always imagined? I winced as I realized I would probably never compare to whatever version of me he had dreamed up. I bit my lip and hugged myself tighter.<p>

I was nervous.

I knew I didn't need to be. After all, this was my best friend. If I could trust anyone, it was him. He knew me inside and out, he knew every little thing about me, perfect and imperfect, and yet he still loved me.

And I loved him.

That conviction gave me the courage to stand up and make my way out of the bathroom and walk out to the deck, ignoring the screaming urge to stop and dress, to cover up, ignoring the huge bed in my line of vision. I marched right up to the hot tub where Jacob was suspended in the middle, his short black hair in wet disarray, his back to me, looking up at the moon and the stars in the night sky. It was an unusually clear night for this part of Washington.

I noticed Jacob had stripped down to his boxers, his shorts sitting in a messy heap next to the tub, which made him a bit more dressed than I was. Again, I felt compelled to run back to the room and grab the nearest bit of clothing I could find but I stuffed the urge back down and removed the towel, letting it fall to the deck, anxiously awaiting for Jacob to turn around. It was freezing, like always, but I did my best to ward off the cold along with my fears.

I knew he could hear me, _had_ heard me this whole time, but he never turned around.

I carefully climbed in and approached him from behind. I stopped just inches from him, hoping I wouldn't make a fool of myself with how assertive I was being. I laid my hand on his back before pressing a timid kiss to the spot right in between his shoulder blades.

He jumped slightly and tensed. I immediately started to panic. I had done something wrong. I just knew that I would mess this up. Before I could think on it anymore, Jacob turned around.

He smiled warmly at me.

"Hey, Bells," he whispered.

I smiled in return.

"Hi, Jake," I whispered back.

And then his eyes dropped, seeing that I was bare before him.

His eyes roved over me hungrily, widening slightly, and I could see the dark shade reappear in his cheeks once more. I worried my lip nervously as he took in every inch of me and I waited for his evaluation. I knew Jacob loved me but...I wasn't sure that I was...really what he...wanted.

His gaze slowly lifted to mine and I noticed his eyes were darker than before. He stared at me in awe.

"Wow."

A laugh erupted out of me. I couldn't help it. I was relieved that he wasn't disappointed but I found it funny that while Edward probably would have been more eloquent and poetic in his reaction, Jacob was just...Jacob: honest and right to the point, no grandiose gestures, no suavity. He spoke purely from his heart and never shied away from wearing it on his sleeve. Especially with me. And that's why I loved him so much.

Jacob's cheeks darkened and he bit his lip, casting his eyes down to the water between us.

"Sorry," he whispered.

I could see the hurt and embarrassed look on his face and it broke my heart. Did he think I was laughing at _him_?

_Way to go, idiot._ Leave it to me to worry about being humiliated yet I would be the one to embarrass him. Of course.

I stepped closer to him and put my arms around his waist, pulling him into me. He refused to glance up but I cupped his chin and forced his eyes to mine.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at me."

He narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "And why would that be?"

It was my turn for my cheeks to be flushed. I bit my own lip and looked down at his chest.

"Because I'm nervous." I laid my hand on the spot where his heart beat steadily. "I've never..."

_Come on, Bella, just say it._ "Done this before," I whispered so quietly that had he not been a werewolf, I doubt he would have heard me. "I was worried you might...be...disappointed or... something."

His hand encased mine, holding it in place.

"Far from it," he whispered into my ear. The feel of his hot breath against it made my skin tingle. "You're perfect, Bells. So beautiful."

I closed my eyes and swallowed, not sure I really wanted the answer to my next question, but I had to ask it. "Have you...done this...before?"

It felt like forever until he finally answered.

"No," he breathed out.

My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head to stare up at him.

"Ever?" I was in shock. Surely, there had to be someone. He was sixteen, after all, and not hard on the eyes. Not to mention how fun he was to be around and how smart he was and how amazing he was...

He was still blushing and he smiled, his white teeth gleaming against his russet skin, chuckling in embarrassment before looking back up at me. "Ever."

"But, Jake, you're...beautiful...and amazing...girls would be all over you...how...would you not...?" I shook my head in confusion.

He leaned his forehead up against mine, staring into my eyes. "I told you, Bells." His hot breath dancing teasingly along my lips made the hair on my arms stand up on end as electricity coursed through me. "I only see you."

I threaded the fingers of my other hand into his damp hair and pulled them through repeatedly. I could feel the warmth spreading in my cheeks as I gave him a meek smile and then laid my head down on his chest.

"So, I upgraded from 'sort of beautiful' to 'beautiful', huh?" I could hear the smile in his voice and I grinned.

"You were always beautiful, Jake. Always."

He kissed my head and hugged me tight before drawing me back to look down at me. He gently smoothed the hair away from my face before pressing his lips to mine.

He moved his hands to the small of my back and his fingers dug into my skin, pulling me in closer to him. I kissed him back and was about to deepen the kiss when he broke it and stared down at me sadly.

"I was so scared I was gonna lose you, Bells," he confessed to me in a whisper. "I don't know what I would have done..." He frowned and shook his head. "If I had lost you. I thought...that was the last time I was ever gonna see you."

I moved my hand from his hair to his cheek, stroking the smooth skin softly, trying to stroke away the pain in his eyes. He must have been in agony. I knew how much he had hoped I would stay human, how he kept counting down the days and must have continued when he left. It pained me to look at him now, see the dark circles under his eyes and know they were there because of me. I reached up and kissed his nose. "You won't ever lose me. I promise you, Jacob. I love you."

He smiled so wide I was sure it must've hurt. The look he was giving me now told me just how much those last three words meant to him. "I love you, too," he whispered back to me. He then closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss me again, this time with a little more fervor. My hands immediately buried themselves in his hair and tugged, moving him closer to me. Our lips moved roughly against each other and it wasn't long before I felt his tongue parting mine.

Our breathing through our noses was loud and harsh and it was obvious we were both badly in need of some air. Neither of us seemed to care as we got more into it. All of my shyness, my timidity, seemed to vanish into thin air, leaving a glowing ember deep within me that was now being stoked into a full flame. A flame that rapidly spread through every nerve ending of my body.

The tiny splashes in the water created by our bodies as we moved sounded so far away, as if they were happening somewhere else with two other people. All I could hear, all I could see, feel, was him.

Before I could register what happened, Jake had lifted me and wrapped my legs around his waist. He pulled away, gasping for air as I continued to press kisses against his jawline. I heard more splashes and felt him step out of the tub.

I moved back and covered his lips with my own, kissing him deeply. He lifted me once more and repositioned me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck accordingly and he again drew back to get air. His eyes were blacker than midnight and his chest was heaving in and out at a rapid pace. My own breathing was out of control.

I waited until he got a few good breaths in and then brought my mouth back to his, making him wildly gasp against my lips. I made sure to push his head into mine. I wanted him closer...impossibly closer. I didn't care if we melded and became the same person. I just wanted him as close to me as he could be. He seemed to agree because his left hand snuck up to the back of my neck, fisting in my hair, and pulled me into him just as much.

He kissed me so passionately I was almost dizzy, struggling for air when he finally released me. He nipped softly at my lips and carried me back into the cabin like I had taken his last name today instead of another's.

He walked us over to the bed and then laid me down gently. He pulled away, turning his back, and in a movement faster than I could see, his boxers were nowhere to be found. He cautiously turned around to face me and I quickly blushed and looked down. My shyness was back with a vengeance.

I knew I was being ridiculous. I wanted this. With him, always him, but...I was still nervous.

"Bells..." He sounded nervous, too. The need to protect him and care for him activated once again and it gave me the courage to bite my lip and lift my eyes up to his. His own face was a shade darker. "Are you sure you want to...do this?"

I stared at him. Jacob. My Jacob. I loved him so much. I wanted him. And I could tell he wanted me just as much. I needed to be brave, to start us into the next phase of our relationship. That thought made me pause. _Relationship._ That's what Jake and I had now. We were two parts of one whole. We would meet in the middle and fill in each other's gaps, complement one another in a way that only we could.

He may have had the body of a grown man but the face staring back at me was very much a young boy's. A boy that had no clue what he was doing. A boy who wanted me, loved me, but was uncertain and anxious because of his inexperience. A boy who needed my help.

I forced myself to take a deep breath and then slowly got to my feet. His eyes watched me warily and almost sadly, as if he was afraid I was going to reject him yet again. It made my chest ache, seeing just how much I had already hurt him. I wanted to reassure him, promise to never cause him pain ever again.

I stepped up to him and met his gaze. We stood there, neither of us knowing how to continue, how to make this happen for us. Both of us were afraid to say the wrong thing, make the wrong move, and end this night before it even began.

I could feel the heat radiating off of him and I did my best to keep my eyes glued to his and not let them drop to what I had gotten a sneak glimpse at before. Part of me wanted to see, to examine that part of him I had never known. The part of him that my body would be overly familiar with by morning. Another part of me didn't, worried that if I indeed saw what was going to join us that I might just chicken out. That would only hurt him more and I couldn't have that. Although, I knew, if it came down to it, he would wait for me forever. He had already proven that.

His face started to fall, taking my silence and position I had not moved from, as me changing my mind. "Maybe we should-"

Before he could finish, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. I let out a tiny gasp when I felt his hot arms do the same around my waist. It would definitely take a while for me to get used to feeling the heat of his skin on mine in that area.

"I love you," I whispered to him. "I love _you_, Jacob. It's always been you."

I could see his dark eyes shining brighter than they had been a minute ago. "I love you, too, Bells. I love you, too," he whispered back.

We held each other like that, studying one another, for a while. Soon, he started to softly rub the small of my back and I could see his eyes take on a darker hue than before. His breathing started to increase and he kept glancing back and forth between me and my lips. Not to mention that I felt something hard thicken against my stomach. He was ready.

"How...do we...?"

My nerves were at an all-time high. He was asking _me_ what he should do to get the ball rolling. Without thinking, I gulped and he heard it. His eyes snapped to mine and just like that, I could see the fire dim in them.

"We don't have to. I'm sorry. I thought...Bella, we don't have to. Relax, honey." The circles he was making on my back expanded their arcs. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No, Jake. I do...want this. Really. It's just...," I bit my lip and looked down. I was immediately grateful that we were too close together and that I didn't see much of anything. "I don't know how to do this," the strained whisper clawing its way out of my throat to let another lump form after it. I closed my eyes and hung my head.

His fingers lifted my chin. "Bells, look at me," he pleaded.

I reluctantly opened my eyes to find him smiling warmly at me.

"Neither do I, honey, but you already know that." He chuckled and hugged me tighter. "This is just us, Bells. Just you and me. We're overthinking it." That caught my attention. Hadn't he said something similar to that when he had kissed me before the battle with Victoria and the newborns?

Jake looked unsure. "I mean, I've seen...things in the Pack mind. Maybe I could...do something like that...to help. It always seems to work for Jared and Kim. Sam and Emily, too. And even Paul." He snorted at the end.

My expression went from disbelief to disgust in seconds.

Jake held up his hands. "Honey, I told you. We can't help it. They don't choose to share just like we don't choose to listen. It's a wolf thing. It can't be helped." I narrowed my eyes at him and he rolled his. "It's not like I enjoy hearing those kinds of things, Bells. I mean, it's Emily. And Kim! You think I want to hear _that_?" He grimaced.

I arched an eyebrow and he sighed again. "Come on, Bells. You know me better than that."

I smirked. "Yeah, you're right. You're lucky that I do, you perv." I promptly raised my hand and smacked the back of his head.

He smirked right back at me, not bothered in the least by my hit. "I don't know about that, Bells. You are technically the one trying to sleep with me here. If anyone's the perv, it's you."

I scoffed and crossed my arms. "Please. As if you haven't been fantasizing about something like this ever since you met me."

He grinned good-naturedly. "Of course I have."

"And _I'm_ the perverted one?"

"Without a doubt." He wriggled his eyebrow playfully, making me laugh and wrap my arms around him again. This was good, this was us. This was comfortable, easy. Just like Jake said.

He went to say something else, a witty remark no doubt, when I kissed him. I kissed him with everything I felt for him, everything that I had always wanted to say, always wanted to show him but couldn't before.

Sure enough, our kissing turned heated and within seconds, we were moving closer to the bed. He pulled away, gasping for air as I did the same. "B-Bells, should I try to do what Jar-" I didn't even wait for him to finish. I didn't want us to lose this momentum now that we had it. I was completely focused on him and I wanted it to stay that way. There was no need to recreate scenes between any of the other wolves and their girlfriends. Jake had been right before. We had been overthinking it. And I certainly didn't want to start again now.

"Just keep kissing me. Don't-stop-kissing me." I crushed my mouth to his and we both fell to the bed, Jake turning us so we landed on our sides and not with him on top of me. We scrambled around, our lips never leaving each other's, until my head hit the pillow and he was on top of me, keeping all his weight in his forearms.

"I love you, Bella," he mumbled into my lips.

"I love you, too," I mumbled back before kissing him once more. His grip tightened on me, pulling me into him more, and the fire consumed me just like I hoped it would.


End file.
